Another day, another day recovering from another surgery....

I figure if I want to maintain any sort of readership and followers, I should probably find time to write a few lines now and then even during this crazy time. Why crazy? Well, last week I had my gallbladder removed, which although a laparoscopic procedure was more painful to recover from than I anticipated. That on top of recovering from Amelie's c-section and keeping up with two babies and my household, on top of the nightly wake-ups to feed my very hungry baby...well, lets just say there aren't many minutes in the day that aren't accounted for ahead of time. And did I mention the pain factor? Who knew a 5mm trocar port in the belly could be such a bear?! Then again, I suppose getting stabbed would be painful, and that's about what happened!

Today I woke up with that feeling...I didn't feel good, again. My tummy was bad. Shit. Did I just have an organ removed and still haven't fixed the problem? Is this going to be ongoing? So thankfully, my nanny came early today and was able to stay late, and from the time I woke up until Alia's morning nap, I was basically on the couch. Now here's where I admit something to the universe that will make it real. What was Alia doing for that two and a half hours? She was running back and forth from the library to the kitchen getting one grape at a time, rolling on the sheep skin rug, rearranging her furniture (she got two kid-sized polka dotted chairs from Pottery Barn for Christmas and she loves moving them around, which is funny because I love to rearrange furniture too. Oh, and Alia didn't get two chairs...she got one chair and Amelie got one chair, but Alia believes she got two chairs since Amelie isn't using hers yet). Anyway, Alia was doing her normal running about like a monkey while watching Baby Signing Time. That's right. I caved. Although all research points to not allowing television of any kind before the age of two, I caved this month. Alia is 17 months old, and I now let her learn sign language from the TV. Yes, I've blogged about this before, I think (but who can remember for sure since I've basically been on pain pills since Amelie arrived!). But anyway, today was Alia's dream come true. Mommy didn't cut her off. She got to watch and watch and watch. But here's my justification. One, there was no choice because I didn't have the physical capability to keep up with her, and two, with all that running back and forth and hither and dither, I figure she actually only watched about 6 minutes. Or that's what I tell myself anyway.

So that's where I'm at. Still not quite cured of my stomach woes. Still not sleeping at night for more than two hours at a time. Still thankful for having the support I have from Ajay, my neighbors, and my nanny. Still absolutely loving being a Mommy. Oh, and that brings me to the sweetest moment of the day, perhaps week....perhaps month? While I was on the couch with blankets up to my chin, eyes half closed,  Alia would come to me from time to time, and place her tiny little hand ever so softly on my cheek. And other times? She would give me kisses. Right on the mouth. Wet ones...just the way Mommy loves them.

And yes, I realize Amelie was somewhat absent in this blog...she's basically growing like crazy and very sweet. But today while all this was going on? She was sleeping. Because that's what she does during the day. How else could she get up all those times at night?

Alia is 17 Months old

This month has been a busy one. Getting through Thanksgiving and entering into the Christmas season all while entertaining and caring for two babies (while having gallstone attacks) has been crazy at times. But Alia? She just keeps on impressing us.

In this past month, Alia's Grandmother left us after being here for nearly 2 months. Alia's Aunt Chris also came for a visit, as well as Grandpa Mike. With all the coming and going, we realized that Alia is very well adjusted, but needs to know all the information. No more sneaking out the front door so she doesn't notice one of us has left. Yes, in the short term, it may upset her a bit when Daddy has to go somewhere, but after all her relatives came and went, she seemed to feel insecure, as if she felt one of us might sneak off and not come back.

This month I finally gave in and allowed Alia a little bit of television. I had hoped to keep it out of her life until she was two, but I decided watching Baby Signing Time was a good idea, since much of Alia's frustration is derived from her inability to express herself. So this month we turned on the TV, popped in a video, and now Alia signs away with the best of them. She can sign milk, juice, cracker, hat, shoes, socks, dog, cat, sleep, and baby, off the top of my head. And while she sometimes becomes relentless about watching Baby Signing Time, let's face it, the 5 minutes that the program has her attention allows me to pee from time to time.

Alia is still a pretty good eater. This month she found that she loves kiwis. She also loves string cheese and will do anything for orange juice.

Alia's favorite person in the world is her Daddy. She is very possessive of him and does not like when he holds Amelie. On the one hand, I want her to understand that Amelie is a part of our family and that Daddy will hold her from time to time, and on the other hand, she's still not even 1 1/2 years old, and her frustration is totally predictable. If anyone has any insight into integrating a new baby with an existing baby, I'm all ears!

Alia now wears shoes proudly since she is easily excited about them...all we have to do is sign "shoes" and ask if she wants to wear them and she responds with ooooooooh yeah! which is one of her new adorable expressions. Alia also loves her winter coat, and even napped in it one day because I just couldn't convince her to part with it.

Alia has enjoyed touring various libraries this month and loves to see other little people. She is sweet natured and is happy to share whatever she has with others.

All in all, it's been a fast and busy month. Some days we just scrape by and others are quite charmed. Now if I can just get through this gall bladder surgery tomorrow, we'll be in business!

Wow....!

Well, since I have two girls that are currently awake, contained and not crying, I thought I'd say hello to the cyber world. Amelie is in her bassinet next to me making little baby noises and looking at the ceiling, and Alia is in her crib, easing into the day with her favorite stuffed animals. Good thing I type fast!

So what's new here? Well, what's new with me is my gall bladder has to be yanked out next week. That's right, I'm now at the age that I have conversations about my gall bladder. I thought these were conversations for my Mom, but here I am, a Mom myself, have gall stone attacks at the most inopportune time. If you know anyone who has had this problem, they'll tell you it is among the most painful things you can suffer acutely. So, next Tuesday, it's comin' out. Yeah for me, another surgery! I joke that I wish our hospital had a frequent flier program, since in the last six weeks I've given birth there, had an upper GI endoscopy, and now another surgery planned. And all this fun stuff is going on while I'm raising two babies!

Speaking of babies, Amelie had her six week checkup yesterday. I've been a little concerned for a couple of reasons, and of course, it was just me over-thinking everything. Babies cry, some more than others, and Amelie is in the camp of "We love to cry!". But it's normal. My doc says that some babies just take awhile to learn to soothe themselves.

So in a nutshell, we're keeping our heads above water. I'm getting an hour or two of sleep in a row at night. Amelie isn't the best sleeper, in case you didn't catch that. I'm tired a lot. There aren't enough hours in the day. But we'll get through it, and seriously, isn't it worth it?

Amelie goes to the mall

Yep, it's official...Amelie's first outing, outside the pediatrician, that is, was a trip to the mall this past week. We took her to Fashion Island. She rode around in the Ergo Baby the whole time, sleeping, while Alia got a new pair of shoes and rode the carousel. Oh! And did I mention? Alia's ride on the carousel on the big moving horse! Up until now, Alia has been a bench-only carousel rider...but that's my big girl for you!

Amelie is 1 month old!

As a true reflection of our lives, here I sit trying to finish up this blog that I started several weeks ago...

Is it possible that a month has already gone by? As I reflect on this past month, a lot of things come to mind. First of all, I'm tired! Having a newborn baby and a 16 month old is insane. Although I try not to compare Alia and Amelie because they are their own individual self. I can however compare this time around to last time around.

First, I've learned the importance of convenience items and getting help. With one little one running around like a crazy person just looking for things to hurt herself with, and another teeny tiny one whose needs are critical and sudden, I've totally justified using the premixed/pre-measured formula nursers (mainly at night)...last time? I thought the price to need/payoff was way out of whack. This time around? I am just glad that the convenience item is readily available and I couldn't tell you the price difference because whatever it is, it's worth it due to necessity. I have also learned that if some one offers to help you, it's okay to let them. With Alia, although I had the same family members present, I still tried to manage on my own as much as possible. Now, if you come to my house, you're handed a baby, a broom, a chewed up banana...whatever. You will be put to work.

Amelie has transitioned from a teeny tiny newborn that sleeps and cuddles nonstop to a bigger newborn that loves her quiet alert time kicking her legs to exhaustion. She has developed a little inquisitive look whenever I approach, I swear as if to say "Mommy, is that you?". Amelie is somewhat skeptical of her big sister, but all the same regards her with an inquisitive look.

Amelie has rounded out nicely...her cheeks are full, her tummy is round, and her little tiny spider legs are gaining some bulk, too. No surprise since she eats 4 ounces every 3 hours! At first the amount she wanted to eat was a little alarming to me, but then I recalled her sister being the exact same way, and Ajay reminded me that our girls grow tall...always greater than the 95th percentile on the charts.

So although I could go on for days, the truth is I just don't have the time. Having Amelie has of course changed everything, including how often I can sit down and write about her and her sister. But I wouldn't have it any other way....I'm just so tired!!!

Shit!

So today has started out with a great big "how in the world am I going to do this?". Last night at midnight I woke up with that feeling in my stomach...the one that tells you you're going to be throwing up all night so you might as well get up and start getting it over with. Sure enough, I got food poisoning. So bad that I had to wake up Ajay and have him take over Amelie's night duty even though he had to go in for a 24 hour shift first thing in the morning. Yeah...let's just say a rough start to the day all around at our household.

The good thing is that it was definitely food poisoning and not some contagious virus that could have put my girls in danger. I woke up feeling better if not a little inside out. But as with Ajay , it's not like you get to call in sick as a Mom...the show must go on.

This morning Ajay's Mom is sadly absent...she spent her night with friends in a nearby city. My sister is in town visiting, thank God, but all in all, this is the least amount of hands-on help I've had since the baby was born...me and my sister (who absolutely loves her nieces, but with no kids of her own, is a little apprehensive when it comes to the amount of chaos around here).

Alia of course woke up a little turned around...missing her dad and grandmother. Although we told her "Daddy's at work" she continued looking for him for the first hour she was awake. Talk about heartbreaking. From here she went into a behavioral tailspin. Since she's used to going for a stroll with her Grandmother every morning, I thought it might be a good idea to take her out of the house to keep her schedule regular and provide her with a clean break from her obsession with finding Ajay in the house. I'll just pack Amelie in the Ergo baby and push Alia in the stroller and head out for a nice walk. Good plan, right? Wrong!

Once we were on the walk, I realized to my dismay that I don't do the walk as well as Grandma does. Alia has several (20 or so) stops on her walk where certain things need to happen. You have to stop and look at the berries on a certain tree. You have to visit the Koi pond at a certain neighbors house. You have to knock on certain street signs. Stop at the cement dog. Let her tap her feet on certain rocks, find worms in irrigation runoff...you get the idea. If you haven't done this walk with Grandma, you're set up for failure. And I haven't done this walk with Grandma in 4 weeks...so a lot has evolved.

Right out of the gate, I missed something. Alia shrieked as I continued on past something that I was supposed to show her---still don't know what it was. Around the next corner I missed something else...this time the shrieking turned to real tears. "Mommy! You're doing it all wrong!" was the clear message. This continued for the remainder of the walk, and by the time we got home, both girls were crying. It was probably the lowest point I've had as a Mom in awhile. I'm the Mom. I'm supposed to know how to take them for walks. But in my post all-nighter with my toilet, I just barely made it through calming them both down before the thoughts came...How am I going to make it through today? Or this year?

Alia is 16 months old!

Well, as I said last month, this is my first monthly post that Alia is not an only child...she's now officially my oldest, a big sister, a sibling. And what a month it's been. Alia's sister Amelie has been with us almost 3 weeks now and there is so much to say but so little time to say it these days.

As I've said before, I am so proud of who Alia is and who she is becoming. With the arrival of Amelie, we've come to see a whole new side of Alia...Alia the caretaker, Alia the concerned older sister. She comes to the bathroom to make sure all is okay when Amelie is crying while getting her diaper changed. Alia brings Amelie's pacifier and offers it up like "here, Mommy, try this...she likes it". Alia hasn't shown too many signs of jealousy or done much lashing out, although she seems to accept that I hold the baby nearly all the time, but doesn't like her Dad to hold her at all.

Alia has all sorts of new tricks. She now walks backwards, turns in circles on command, and pulls her barrettes out of her hair as soon as they go in. Alia eats with a fork and spoon, but still prefers to go at it with her hands from time to time. What started out as a fascination with Daddy's belly button has turned into a full blown obsession with all belly buttons...her own, mine, her Grandma's and even our neighbor, who is kind enough to show her whenever she asks.

Alia's understanding of the world around her has grown exponentially this month. You can tell Alia to do just about anything and she understands what's being asked of her. When we say "namaste", she smiles her biggest Alia smile and puts her hands together in prayer position in front of her. If we ask her where something is, her little palms face the sky and her shoulders shrug as if to say "you got me, Mommy!". Alia's verbal vocabulary is growing as well, although not quite as quickly as her understanding of words. If I ask her to say doggy, she responds with a big smile and says Bow Wow! With the arrival of Amelie, Alia added "baby" to her repertoire, and now proudly points out every baby she sees, be it in magazines, mailers, or at the park.

Alia has loved having her Dad home with her since I went into the hospital. My stay there was really tough on her, but she's bounced back and it's as if I was never gone. She is also enjoying all the extra visitors...my Mom, Ajay's Mom, and my sister who arrives this Friday. Ajay returns to work tomorrow, which is bound to be a big adjustment for her, but we've decided it's best to tell her when her Dad is leaving and where he's going as opposed to our old method of distracting her and having him sneak away....this tactic only made her panicky and feel the need to follow him every minute of the day to make sure he doesn't disappear.

Alia is starting to interact with her surroundings much more this month. She plays with toys much more independently now.  She loves to hide in her tent and play with her new stove; she loves bouncing and throwing and kicking balls. She is a happy and beautiful child if I do say so myself.

So all in all, we're surviving! A newborn and a 16 month old is a little crazy, but it's our life and I vasilate between wanting to freeze time and keep them both at this age forever, and hoping they'll grow up just a little bit so I can see what's next, and getting a little sleep would be a bonus!

Hello, world!

Right now we're smack dab in the middle of baby central. Ajay is off this week for his final week of paternity leave (which by the way, is basically unpaid leave since doctors aren't allowed to be humans), Maya is here helping with the little ones, and I'm doing my thing to try to take care of both of my girls.

I've been on night duty for the majority of the past few weeks, with the exception of a couple of nights that Ajay covered because I was out of steam. See, I figure we need one person who is fully charged to keep pace with Alia, and since her mornings can start pretty early, and Amelie sleeps until 7 or so, I thought it would be best to give Alia her full-fill of Ajay as much as possible while he's off work. Which means I'm getting up to change diapers and feed Amelie every two and a half hours every night...for the most part.

Am I unhappy about this? Nope, not at all. In fact, I'm amazed at how much easier it is the second time around. Sure we're tired...we have a 15 month old and a 2 week old for Gods-sake! But all in all, I don't find the lack of sleep to be so shocking this time. That, and I have help, and I'm willing to allow the help to happen, as opposed to feeling like I need to do everything and be everything to everyone like last time.

So today? We took Amelie to her 2 week appointment at the pediatrician. And despite my slight fear that I'm allowing Amelie to eat more often than her sister did, she weighed in 3 ounces lighter than Alia did at this age (long story...with Alia the La Leche people had me so convinced that formula feeding lead to a lifetime of poor health and obesity since babies will suck down a whole bottle very rapidly and demand more formula because they don't realize they're already full...so I only allowed her to eat every 3 hours, which sometimes lead to a very unhappy baby). This time around? If my baby is hungry, I'm feeding her. Yes, like Alia I'm supplementing breastmilk with formula, but this time around I have the self assurance to know that even if Amelie gets chunky around 6 months like Alia did, it's not a big deal because they burn it off as soon as they start walking...who knew?

So we're all doing well, all happy, healthy, if a little tired. And loving the newborn experience the second time around.

Family of four...

Hi!
Well, where have I been for the last 10 days? Good question...I can't seem to come up with anything that has kept me away from the computer except for the new teeny tiny girl that's been added to my family...Amelie. Yes, a newborn takes up a surprisingly large amount of time...although she's only awake 5 hours a day, those are 5 chaotic ours considering my other big girl is very very fast, very very interested, and very very needing of everyone's full attention.
And by everyone? I mean, myself, Ajay, my Mom who is visiting this week, Ajay's Mom who is here for about another month, as well as my part time nanny who I've hired to help me out when Ajay goes back to work. That's right...Alia needs it all. And if some one happens to leave the room and her circle of admiration and attentiveness? She squawks in the most unpleasant of ways to get us back where we belong...playing with her.
So the transition? Not too terribly bad on Alia. Although she does seem to be a little bit mad at me, which breaks my heart because it means she holds me responsible for her sister. But that's okay...I know that a sister is the best gift I can give her.
So Alia....outside of being a little out of her element, is doing extremely well. The other night we were all hanging out in the formal living room. On the coffee table were a few glasses of wine, a baby bottle for Amelie and a pacifier for Amelie (Alia quit hers cold turkey at 3 months old). Well anyway, we were all sitting and chatting...Alia on Ajay's lap enjoying story time, me holding Amelie on my shoulder trying to coax out her teeny tiny elusive burps, and my Mom, Ajay's Mom Maya, and Maya's cousin. Anyway, at one point, Alia jumps up and off Ajay's lap, and takes a few quick strides with outreached arms toward the coffee table. I was concerned that red wine would be flying off the table....Ajay was concerned that Alia would grab the bottle of pumped breast milk and down it right on the spot. But instead? What did my precious sweetie pie do? She grabbed the pacifier and handed to me and then patted Amelie's foot. She turned around and handed me the baby's bottle for Amelie.

Does it get any sweeter than that?

Amelie Iman was born!

Well, here I sit on my bed, in my home, and I have to say, it's good to be here. I was discharged from the hospital on Thursday and have been enjoying time at home with my family, and it's newest teeny tiny addition.

Amelie's arrival was uneventful. As far as c-sections go, this one was perhaps a little easier as I knew what to expect, but at the same time, I have to say, surgery of any kind is inherently scary to me. But, that said, we sailed through, and now we have a little sweet girl named Amelie. She, like her sister, weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces, and was 20 inches long.

I will be posting photos in the very near future.

Tomorrow is almost here

Tomorrow is my big day...Amelie will join the world sometime before 8AM. I can't wait. I'm ready.

I'm not ready, however, to leave Alia. All day, Ajay has had to put up with my annoying reminders of what time of day she gets juice, when she gets milk, how to keep her safer from herself. I suppose he's smart enough to know that I'm freaking out about being away from her. And that's when I got a note from a friend telling me when she was in the hospital, she was dying to see her other kids, and when they came to her room after her delivery, they were more interested in all the new buttons to push than seeing her. Her wisdom of enjoying this solo time with Amelie did not fall on deaf ears...it was just the input I needed. After all, as she said, I'll be back home before I know it, and there won't be a nice nurse to bring me things!

So in 10 hours give or take, I'll be meeting my new little girl. I can't wait to see what she looks like, hear what her little cries sound like, hold her little hands, and cuddle her tightly. I can't wait to put her on my chest and watch as she sleeps there...Poor Alia squirms away from my needy Mommy hugs, but I get a whole new chance of anytime cuddling with little Amelie.

Today I've taken it really easy. Ajay's Mom and I went for manicure/pedicures, and while they took Alia to town for a walkabout, I napped for a few hours, which is all my bladder would allow. Now that everyone else in the house is resting, I have a few minutes alone with my thoughts. I realize I'm not nervous this time around. I don't have the "we're going to Disneyland tomorrow" feeling that I had when I was going into the hospital last time either...I am much more calm and even keeled. I'm not worried that I'll die during the c-section, that the baby will be cut by my doctor's scalpel, or any of those other odd fears I had last time. I feel comfortable that I'm in good hands.

I've arranged for plenty of help for Maya while Ajay and I are in the hospital tomorrow. We have the best neighbors in the world right across the street, who have always had an open door policy when it comes to Alia drop-ins. All in all? We're all set! Amelie arrives tomorrow!

One more week!

Today is Monday. By this time next week, I'll be holding little Amelie in my arms, discovering all her little parts and features, and hugging her nonstop. I can't wait.

This weekend was a good one. On Saturday I went in for fetal monitoring and everything checked out okay...Amelie's read out from the machine looked great, and they confirmed that she has turned to a head down position. My fluid level is great. Now we wait.

On Sunday we attended Alia's second annual Halloween party at Dr. H's office (the fertility doc that created her). Since Alia was afraid of her original costume, we improvised...

...and of course, I felt that Alia was the bell of the ball in her tutu and Halloween t-shirt. In this shot, we're watching airplanes taking off and landing at the nearby airport, which, in Alia's opinion, was better than any of the party's activities!

Here, some one was nice enough to take a photo of all three four of us...and you can really tell there are four of us!

And here my little darling is making Mama proud by reorganizing all the sodas and bottled waters...it seems that the water and soda had become mixed in the different ice bins, but leave to my baby to reorganize it for everyone's benefit. That's my girl!

The state of things....

This week has been not the best for Alia....last Friday she caught a cold and has been under the weather all week. She also had her 15 month checkup, (weight: 26 pounds; height: 33 inches....greater than the 94th percentile for both) which also required 3 vaccinations and a flu shot booster. Like I said, just not a good week for our little monkey. 

Like I said in Alia's 15 month update, she is also showing signs of moving from 2 naps per day to 1 nap, but she's not quite there yet. On Wednesday, she managed to make it through the day with 1 nap, but it was ugly...really ugly...by the end of the day. We're talking full-on monkey mode with tears by day-end ...pinballing from one piece of furniture to the next and crying at the drop of a hat (or in her case, Froggy).  Re-reading what I've just written, I ask myself if perhaps she's not ready for 1 nap a day. I question my reasoning. Hmmmm. But the thing is, Alia has always been a good baby when put down for a nap...she gets her Froggy, a bottle of water, lies in the crib and looks up as if to say, "thanks, Mommy...I could really use a nap right now". But these past weeks, she's begun resisting her morning nap, which used to be around 9 or 9:30, but is now pushed all the way back to 10:30 or 11AM.  But she's still sleeping like a log once she goes off to naptime. So what's the answer? Do I keep on pushing her back and try to consolidate? Do I keep on just reading where she is day to day and then decide? And oh, yeah....how is all of this impacted by the brand new baby that'll be coming home in under two weeks?

In less than two weeks...that's right...a new baby. A BRAND NEW BABY!!!! A teeny tiny one with teeny tiny toes and teeny tiny little hands. And teeny tiny stretches of sleep. I am going to be one busy girl. As this pregnancy draws to a close, I feel a little bit sad...this is our last baby. This is my last pregnancy. And sure, I'm at the very very uncomfortable stage. And sure, I'm dying to get this body back in shape. But there is something so special and intimate about pregnancy...and this is the last couple of weeks of the experience for me. To share my body with another little person...to know her every wiggle...to feel her every hiccup...to wonder what position her arms (or is that a leg?) are in to make it feel like that. It's bittersweet to be at the end. I'll be happy to have my bladder back. I'll be happy to have less to lug around. I'll be happy to be the old me again. But I'll miss pregnancy, and I'm sad to know that this is it for us. 

Alia is 15 months old!

I'm sitting here with my feet on the coffee table. I can barely see my swollen piggies peeking over the top of the laptop. I am very, very pregnant. In fact, this is the last time I'll be writing Alia's monthly note with her as an only child. Her sister will join us in one week, five days.

This month has been one of big adjustments for me personally. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'll be in the hospital for 3, maybe 4 days when Alia's sister Amelie is delivered. She's frank breech, which makes another c-section my choice, which means perhaps a little longer stay away from my darling. I can't imagine how hard it's going to be to be away from her for a few days. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. I haven't been away from Alia for more than 2 or 3 hours in her entire life, so leaving her is huge for me.

That said, let's talk about how my big big girl has grown and developed this month. The word toddler...it means something now. She toddles about all day long. When she's tired, she turns into a human pinball, bouncing from one piece of furniture to another, and nearly always being and inch from eminent danger in this wobbly state.

Alia's personality is developing daily. She is a very sweet girl who loves to share her favorite possessions with everyone who she comes into contact. Of course, she's more showing you, "hey! here's my Froggy! take him! now, give him back!" and if you miss a beat? She becomes just a little impatient that you're not giving it back in a timely fashion.

Alia's vocabulary is growing at an impressive rate. Her understanding of what we're saying is really impressive. Just about any household item is recognized, and she's happy to retrieve anything you tell her...the ball, the pillow, the pointy scissors, the kitchen knife....you name it, it's in her hands and she's happy to run it over to you.

Alia is now showing signs that she's ready to move from two naps to one. Her morning nap is inching later and later into the day, and her afternoon nap is nearly always only 30 minutes...at least, that's this week. She does change from week to week. My hope is that she'll be steadily converted to a one-nap day by the time I go to the hospital, just to simplify her Grandma and Daddy's job.

Speaking of Grandma, Ajay's Mom arrived a couple of weeks ago. Once again, Alia has taken to Maya like a duck to water. Alia has been a little more clingy with me lately, which I believe is because she senses my pregnancy and the changes that are happening around her.

Alia is very interested in how things work, and if I didn't know that her curiosity about how things work is her driving force, I'd swear she was up to mischief. Some of her new favorite past times are toilet paper unrolling, safety corner unsticking (from the pointy edges of the tables), and pulling all my clothes off hangers in the closet. Yes, I am giving her the benefit of the doubt...she's curious, not bad!

Alia says lots of words...they just might not sound like words to people that don't know her. For example, golk-golk means yogurt. She also knows the sign language for eat, banana, car, cat, and birdie. Oh yeah, and she shouts bow wow wow at the top of her lungs anytime she sees a dogs

Alia is an excellent pointer. She points out her ears, nose, eyes, hands, fingers, toes, feet, and belly button. She points to Daddy, Mommy, Grandma, Grandad, Uncle Jim, and Aunt Carol on demand. Alia also points at the moon, airplanes, birds, bees whenever she notices them. Her hearing is noteworthy...we can be sitting in the living room singing along with songs on the iPod and she'll point to the ceiling, at which point I'll notice the faintest sound of an airplane over-head. Same with neighborhood dogs barking...they can be blocks away, and when she hears them she shouts BOW WOW! Here Alia points out a plane overhead....above all the noise of the park, she hears it! Even if it is flying at 70,000 feet!

Alia is addicted to Daddy. She can't get enough of him. Before last week, Alia woke up at 5AM for a bottle, which Daddy would give her, change her diaper, and put her back to bed....she would then sleep until 7AM give or take. But these days? She's figured out that he's only home for the a tiny window in the morning, so she stays awake and cries for Daddy so she can spend time with him before work.

Oh, and did I mention? Alia is now wearing shoes from time to time. She's been a barefoot baby up until fairly recently. The reason she's finally agreeable to wearing shoes is that she hates to be dirty...no dirt is allowed on her hands or her feet...which makes a trip to the park very tricky without shoes...

Oh, and speaking of fashions...were we speaking of fashion? Here's my lastest little project...Alia's jeans jacket for fall....which I dolled up with a cute heat transfer. And did I mention? Alia's new favorite thing?
Teething biscuits.

Alia's test drive...

We brought the Mountain Buggy up from the garage in preparation of Amelie's arrival...she'll be sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed for those first few weeks.

Upon unfolding the collapsed stroller, but before attaching the bassinet,  I noticed the tires needed air. And the whole thing was a little dusty. So while I was tidying it all up, a little toddler toddled my way, and sweetly put her hand on my shoulder. Obviously this thing had potential for being as fun as a carnival ride.

So before we did anything else, Alia climbed aboard for a test drive around the house in her new race car....

....with Bow Wow Wow as her co-pilot.

Is it just me?

Yesterday I ran some errands on my own. Alia woke up with a faucet for a nose, and Maya graciously sent me on my way to run some errands solo. Do you know how much I can do without a 29 pound baby to lug around...sitting atop of my 9 month pregnant belly? Well, not as much as I could without being 9 months pregnant, but still...just driving with NPR on instead of Baby Beluga was a real treat for me.

Okay, my point of this blog? BabiesRUs was my destination, but I also wanted to stop at Trader Joe's.  With this as my objective, I decided to venture out to Aliso Viejo, which is one city inland from me here in Laguna, but a city I haven't spent much time in. So I pull up BabiesRUs online to check the address for navigation purposes, and notice a button that says "print in-store mailer" or something like that. Coupons? Why not! So in addition to printing out the address, I print out the store's ad and notice a $5 off total purchase in addition to a savings on things I was going to buy anyway. Score! That's just found money if you ask me.

So I go, shop, and get in line to check out. I hand over my freshly printed coupons, and wouldn't you know it? They require your BabiesRUs Rewards card. Which I don't have. I've never had an actual card that I'm aware of...they always look it up. But today? No, they can't pull it up by looking up my phone number like they do every other time. The system is down. No, the manager can't authorize my membership without being able to look it up. No, they can't do anything. I can, however, save my receipt and coupon, and the next time I'm in, just bring my non-existent card, and they'll be happy to refund my savings at that time.

Yeah, that's going to happen.

I was so annoyed! I mean, had I not gone to the trouble of looking up the address, I never would have known that I had about $20 off my purchases coming my way. But knowing that I had actually printed the coupons? And twice had to go to the printer and figure out why it wasn't just printing (paper jam, and a restart required)? I was so miffed! Had I not known? No problem! But knowing? Just another case of clearly horrible customer service and bad decision-making by management!

Where is the time going?

Well, Ajay's Mom Maya arrived almost 10 days ago. Where has the time gone? Seriously....yesterday I realized that she didn't just get here!

So the countdown is on...Alia's sister will arrive in 2 weeks and 3 days. It's surreal how quickly the days are passing right now. This whole week passed in a blink. I can't believe it's already Friday, and I haven't posted a thing in a week. Sure I've thought about it, but who has time?

This week I managed to do a little more preparation for the baby's arrival. The Mountain Buggy and bassinet was brought up from the garage...just like with Alia, we plan to use the bassinet setting for the stroller at our bedside for the first weeks home. Then I'll probably move into the living room with the baby once Ajay goes back to work.

Last week I unfortunately had to let my nanny go. Now that I'm back to going it alone, I am a little stressed about having a 15 month old and a newborn at home by myself. Sure, Ajay is taking off for 3 weeks. Maya will stay as long as she feels she's needed (quick...what's the best way to prove incompetence?), my Mom will visit on 11/9 for a week, and my sister will come for a short visit over Thanksgiving weekend. But beyond that, it's me. On my own. Is this possible?

All that aside, I'm doing pretty good. We learned at the last ultrasound that the baby, who we have named Amelie, is Frank Breech. Meaning she is head up, butt down, legs fully extended with feet in front of her face. Literally folded in half. And I wondered why I could breathe.

So that's where we're at....big as a house, ready to pop, and scared to death that I'm going to be outnumbered by my babies!

Pat the Bunny

If you have a baby and or kids, you're probably familiar with the book Pat the Bunny....
You know the one...

Well, in the event you don't know this book, it was written forever ago and is a classic baby book. It begins with a brief introduction...Here's Paul and Judy...they can do cool stuff...so can you...

Judy can pat the bunny. Now you do it (and the bunny on the following page is very soft for little curious fingers)...

Then there's the page that Alia loves...Paul and Judy play peek-a-boo. Now you play peek-a-boo with Paul.

And Alia lifts the little cloth and squeals with delight.

And finally is the kicker...the "Paul smells the flowers...now you smell them..." page. See, Alia hasn't really learned the subtlety of what is expected of her on this page...so I picked up the book and held it to my nose to show her, but she thought I was licking the page. That's right...when Alia sees this page, she licks it...

...and this page...

...and this page, too. But on this page, the licking is followed by waving bye-bye. Because it's only polite.

My poor mistreated daughter...

Yesterday was a nice cool day, and for the afternoon trip to the park, I pulled out a jacket for the first time this season for Alia. The only thing? The jacket was from last spring.

So there's Alia, in her totally cute gray and black striped leggings with her black Hello Kitty pumpkin Halloween shirt, being stuffed into a springy turquoise jacket that was too little. And on top of that...I haven't bought her any shoes for fall yet, so all she has are sandals from the summer. So imagine what started out as a really cute little outfit, add the too-little turquoise jacket (which, by the way, when Ajay pried on to her arms, she cried) and her pink sandals which are also too little.

What a look. My poor little orphan girl.

So what are we up to today? We're going to the mall. To buy my baby a new pair of shoes (and a jacket)!

Grandma!!!

Today Ajay's Mom arrives for her baby-stay. That somehow makes it more real that this new baby is right around the corner. Where are we...5 weeks away? No? 4? Wait a minute...Monday marked the 4 week countdown, so that means we're under 4 weeks!? Shit! When did that happen?

Well, needless to say I can't wait for her to get here. I have her room all ready and can't wait to see Alia's little face light up when she realizes her Grandma is here!

Just when you think it's safe to enter the baby's room....

We have a typical a.m. routine here at the Lalvani household. Since my pregnancy (and thus need for additional sleep) coincided to a new and improved sleep schedule for Alia, basically here's what happens in the morning: Ajay is up at about 5:45 to get ready for his day at the hospital. He showers, gathers his stuff for the day, and just before he leaves, he checks the monitor to see if Alia is awake and kicking around. If she is, he takes her a bottle of milk, changes her diaper, and puts her back in bed with the bottle. Previously she went back to sleep after the bottle, but now she has her bottle and plays with her Froggy and Bow Wow Wow for 45 minutes or so. Usually around 6:45 I'm up, grab a cup of coffee (yes, I still drink coffee but have switched to 1/2 caff...which since my OB says one cup of coffee is fine in the morning, I rationalize that I can have 2 cups of 1/2 caff...) and when the hooting and hollering begins, I go get Alia...usually around 7.

So this morning was no different than any other. I heard Alia on the monitor talking to her Froggy and Bow Wow Wow. I glanced at the monitor and saw her head peaking up over the rails....it was time to go get her. Somewhere in my mind I've decided that if Alia is lying down and playing, she's happy to stay put, but when she stands up and pops her little head over the rails and starts her vigorous bouncing, it's time to set that monkey free.

So today, on cue, I openned the door to see Alia waving her Froggy in one hand and holding onto Bow Wow Wow with the other, and her bottle hanging out of her mouth. But hang on...something's not right...what's that in the crib? If she's holding everything that is supposed to be in there, what's that?

On closer inspection, I realized that it's Alia's diaper. A quick look at the changing table confirmed that when she was changed this morning, Ajay left her pants off, which he sometimes does if they feel damp from the overnight diaper. So here's Alia, standing proudly with her guys and bottle, and absolutely positively no pants.

Four weeks, three days

I'm going to have a baby in a little over 4 weeks. This means that I am big, feeling fat and bloated, and tired. It also means that the smallest tasks can feel overwhelming...like keeping up with the laundry and dishes and routine stuff. The lack of sleep at night is taking it's toll on me, but all that said, I still feel like I'm in a surreal place right now. I wake up to pee every couple of hours at night, and sometimes I'm surprised to find my belly so heavy...like, I've forgotten that I'm pregnant. And not just a little pregnant...a LOT pregnant...over 8 months! I've been slowly getting ready for my trip to the hospital...I've got all of the baby's things washed and snuggly. I've added a few things of my own to the pile that's waiting for a suitcase to magically appear. But it still feels somewhat unreal.

This pregnancy has been so different than the first one. No drugs, hormones, or crises. No "I have no idea what to expect with this new baby coming" stress. There's just been the feeling that the routine that we've created and that works well for us is going to change dramatically with the new little person here with her own set of needs. And while that's a little frightening to think about, it's nothing that I haven't handled before.

So here we are...tired. Ready for the baby to come. Amazed that I still have four weeks left. And at the same time, amazed that there are JUST....FOUR.....WEEKS.....LEFT!

Because I don't have energy to be fun and creative and adventurous right now

The phone rings. I answer it. It's Ajay calling from the hospital.

Ajay: We need to do something fun before the new little person comes.

Me: We could paint mugs.

Maybe we should have done a little more childproofing...

Tonight Ajay is working a 24 hour overnight at the hospital, which means I've been on solo Alia duty since 7AM. Not such a big deal, except for the fact that she is now faster than me and our house isn't quite as safe as it should be. This means that while we're sitting happily in her play area, at any given moment, she can spring to her feet and take off with a naughty little look on her sweet little face. Up until now, I've counted on my own mobility to keep her safe in my house of horrors.

Sure, I put a baby gate at the top of the stairs that leads to the garage. Yes, we also have a gate that seals off the hallway to her room so she can't escape her "wing" without squawking to be let out. Yes, I've plugged every visible plug with a safety thingy to keep her curious little fingers out. But I kind of thought since she's never shown interest in the 6 or 7 steps that leads up to the house from the front entry that we were home free. I was wrong. So last week, I found an expandable, hideous safety gate for this 80" grand entry stairway and ordered it. Or was it the week before? Regardless, it cannot get here quick enough. Not only do I need this gate, but I also need my toilet-safety latches to be installed. I bought them, yes...but in reading the directions, I realized I'd have to remove the toilet seat to install them. And once I approached this little chore, I realized that several of our toilet seats need to be replaced. Thus, my toilet safety project will have to wait until my new toilet seats arrive. I mean, why go to the trouble of removing the seat, installing the safety latch, replacing the seat, only to re-do the whole process in a week or so.

And let's also talk about the modern style of our home. We have polished concrete floors throughout our home. Yes...they are hard. But the look really really cool. And so far, Alia has not injured herself in her toddling about because of the concrete floors. However, I haven't talked about the modern and other dangerous furniture that she has hurt herself on from time to time, all while we're standing 4 inches from her. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like we need a visit from CPS or anything...we're talking normal bumps on her head on the coffee table and stuff like that. But how safe can  you make a Barcelona chair? In case you're wondering what in the world that is, here you go....

Yes, I put some of the adhesive spongey corner things on the corners of the ottoman, but it's still a trip to the ER waiting to happen. And what about that hundred year old coffee table made from an Indian door with hand-forged metal work? Huh? What in the hell am I supposed to do with that thing? Well, I'll show you what I did....

Yeah, we put those adhesive spongey things on the most dangerous of the corners, but there is still quite a bit about danger potential all about this table...the sides have little sharp metal thingys that can scrape little fingers and legs that are passing by.

So like I said, having Alia to myself from the time she gets up in the morning throughout the day (including bath time, and I haven't even gone there....my once-content water-baby in now a wild animal in the bath who refuses to sit and will do a nice spinny dance for you the whole time!) is not the biggest deal for a normal healthy 37 year old...but one that's 8 months pregnant? Makes for  a challenging day!

93. Seriously.

That's right. It's 93 degrees here in Laguna Beach. I can't even begin to put into words just how hot that feels in my very well-insulated and highly vascularized pregnant body. And it's the end of September. When are we going to get a break? And by we, I mean I.

Yeah, and if that's not enough to make your blood boil, try getting an e-notice from the power company that your bill for last month is...drum roll....$754. Yeah. That's more than my baby crib cost. That's endless baby clothes...that's a lot of good wine (for when I'm not pregnant). That's international airfare. That's...that's...that's a lot of f-ing money!!!! And by the way, it's not like I keep the house at a nice cool 72 degrees. Our thermostat is always set at 76 degrees, and it's not like our inside temperature ever reaches that because we have skylights throughout the house that creates a green house effect.

Bitch, bitch, bitch. Whine, whine, whine. Welcome to the final 5 weeks of pregnancy where everything is uncomfortable and annoying!

Alia is 14 months old!

I'm writing this as Alia is being taken for a stroll around the neighborhood by Mommy's Helper. No, I still haven't come to terms that I have a very part-time nanny...hell, just writing down that I have (and need) help was a big step for me. But that's not the point.

As I'm watching my 8 month tummy do lots of dances, I think about what's to come, but wanted to focus on where we are currently rather than allowing myself to jump ahead. I just realized that I only have 2 more months of writing about just one baby...as of 11/2, we'll be a 2 baby household. Anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to jot down a few things about the daily activities and requirements of Alia right now so that we have a point of comparison 15 months from now when her sister is the same age.

Let's talk about sleep. My girl requires a little more than average. She is sleeping on average 11-12 hours per night, and still does 2 naps a day...for a total of 2-3 daytime hours of sleep. I've read that most toddlers her age need about 13 hours per day, but on the days that she gets only 13 hours, she's blitzed by the end of the day. Crabby, hysterical, flailing about. You get the picture. So like I said, she just needs a little more sleep than the average toddler. And it's not surprising...she's growing like crazy and is a very active girl. She doesn't sit still for a moment; while she loves reading, she prefers books that require her to move and interact. For example, right now she loves From Head to Toe by Eric Carl. It starts out "I'm a Penguin and I can turn my head....can you do it?" and to this Alia responds by clapping her hands. See, in a few more pages, we'll get to the seal, who asks if she, too, can clap. And she also loves to stomp the floor when the elephant asks her to do so....but she stomps with her hands because that's what her 8-month pregnant Mommy taught her to do. No, I cannot get up and stomp my feet every time we read this book...hell, I can hardly get up to go pee at this point. But that's neither her nor there.

In addition to being a good sleeper, Alia is also a good eater. Her diet is mainly vegetarian, but she's had fish, turkey, and chicken and even beef too. She tries everything, but still has her favorites....among them plain yogurt, yogurt mixed with fresh fruit, strawberries, peanut butter sandwiches, melon of any kind, black beans, and spinach frittatas (yes, she's my little foodie). She likes pasta, Indian food, and a new favorite....toast with butter. We discovered this on a recent trip to Costco, when they were giving out samples of a multigrain bread, toasted with butter. Basically she eats everything we eat, simple or complex.
Socially, Alia interacts well with adults, and is very intrigued by other little ones...especially older little girls. Alia is also very aware of her cuteness...or perhaps I just can't imagine that she's not aware of it. When she comes toddling toward me with her biggest smile, clutching Froggy to her cheek, I am just amazed at her draw. She's like a force field.

Alia has enjoyed the pool this summer...she swims with Daddy every chance she gets. Many days I join the dynamic duo, but at this point, it's better that Daddy wrangles our little rascal...her thrashing arms and legs can be very painful when they connect with my big pregnant belly.

Alia has always been good at sharing her feelings about things. Take this morning for example...I thought it would be funny to put socks on her Froggy. Alia did not like this...at all. It wasn't funny. It was the opposite of funny. It was a very bad idea. Bad Mommy. On the other hand, Alia loves '90s rap. Naughty by Nature (O.P.P.), and DJ EZ Rock (It takes two). I don't know what else to say about this other than when Mommy plays it, the maestro finger goes up and keeps a perfect beat. It reminds Mommy of college fraternity parties where we drank from cheap kegs and had a lot of hangovers, but that's neither here nor there.

Alia is now a combination clown and comedian. You ask for a funny face? You get one..

Oh, and by the way...did I mention the swing? She is once again a bona fide swing hog. Alia will swing for an hour at a time, and will cry when she's finally dragged off.  We actually have to trick her and pull her off the swing while standing behind her so she won't see that her favorite ride is over.

This month we've seen some truly amazing cognitive development. One day she began using sign language to communicate as if it were nothing...she saw a banana in a book and pointed to it and then made the sign for it. I asked her if she was hungry and she responded with the sign for eating. Like I said, truly remarkable development in a very short time. She is very teachable right now, which means I'll be watching more of the Baby Signing Time videos and teaching her as much as she's ready to learn (no, I still haven't caved and allowed Alia to watch TV...I know, I'm a freak, but I'm happy being a freak, so leave me alone...and bring me a piece of cake while you're at it...chocolate).

So that's where we're at...Alia is still the baby of the house, but only for about 6 more weeks. I cannot believe this can possibly be true for a variety of reasons, but watching my baby transform into a toddler in such a short amount of time has taught me the importance of living in this moment.

Teeny Tiny Diapers

In my mind, the last thing on my list of things to buy for our new baby's arrival was newborn diapers. You know, those teeny tiny little diapers that fold up like a crouton when you're done with them?

Well, the order has been placed. They will arrive today. Those teeny, tiny, little bitty diapers for the newest Lalvani girl. And today? I plan to plant them in all the right places...the changing table in their room, the alternate changing table in the bathroom off the living room, and I suppose some will even go in the cargo space in the back of my car. They will look tiny next to Alia's size 5s. I can't wait!

Why so excited about the arrival of newborn underpants? I don't know...maybe it makes it more real in my mind...forget that there is a new crib with new bedding and freshly washed onesies of the newborn variety hanging in the closet. Forget that I"m now getting so big around the middle that it's nearly impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in for more than 3 hours at a time. Forget all of that...it's the teeny tiny diapers that are sealing my psychological deal in my head. And did I mention? They arrive today!

Then VS. Now

So here we are...32 weeks pregnant. And something has changed. Oh, sure, gradually over the last 32 weeks, a lot has changed...my weight, my shape, my clothing size, my skin (gotta love the mask of pregnancy), even my shoes and shoe size. But what I'm talking about is that part of the third trimester where things really change...

Last week, when Alia went down for her morning nap (yes, she's nearly 14 months old and still takes 2 naps a day...what about it?) I would jump into gear, unload the dishwasher, put away the dishes, wash the coffee pot, wipe off the countertops, clean the highchair, sweep the floor, load the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher, hand wash Alia's bottles (yes, Alia is almost 14 months old and loves her bottles passionately...sippy cups? No way, Jose. That's right, what about it?). I'd unload the clothes from the dryer, put clothes from the washer into the now vacant dryer. While I"m down there, I gather up all the magnets that Alia has pulled off the washer and dryer and replace them to avoid stepping on them. I'd make my bed, and then toss the freshly dried clothes on my bed and begin folding and put them away.

From here I'd go to the play room and put all the stuffed animals back in the stuffed animal bin. I'd return books from all over the house to Alia's book bin. The remaining toys would be carefully regrouped with similar components (stacking cups go with stacking cups, Little People go with their accessories) and placed in their bins. When everything is back in order, I put the lids on the bins and turn to the TV room, which probably looks like a tornado hit it from watching TV there last night. I start  by sweeping crumbs off the couch. Then replace the pillows where they belong, reposition the sectional pieces of the couch so that they line up with the room (why didn't I have the delivery guy connect the couch underneath when he offered??). I wipe away the crumbs from last night's dinner off the coffee table, and clear any remaining dishes (not dinner dishes...that's gross...give us some credit for God's sake!...I mean glasses of water, dishes that contained Ajay's before bed bedtime snack of a handful of almonds...you get the idea) and put them in the dishwasher. Now that the house is in order, I grab a bowl of cereal for myself and sit down for 5 minutes or so and eat.Then it's hair/makeup for the next 3.7 minutes, and guess who's awake!

Alia! And she's ready to play! And go somewhere! And be entertained! And take the magnets off the washer! And let's look at books! All of them! And so the cycle begins. Now, it may seem like a pointless effort to spend the morning tidying up last night and this morning's toys, but let me tell you (and if you have kids, you know this)...you can't let it get away from you. If you don't regroup, there will be hell to pay. Sure, maybe not this minute, but more like at the end of the day when your husband is relaxing on the couch like every other night and you're still doing dishes and glaring at him like "doesn't he know that this shit has to be done and why isn't he doing it?" and in reality, he's just doing what he does every day, and you're the one that has changed the variables and now expect him to read your mind even though he DOES NOT SEE what the hell you're so upset about...the shoes over there? Doesn't see them. The remote on the floor in the other room that belongs in here? Doesn't see it. The fact that the magazines are scattered on the coffee table rather than being neatly stacked? Doesn't see that either. So it seems that you in fact, are the crazy one...not him. Sorry...I digress. Anyway, that tangent was necessary in order for you to fully understand why my daily schedule is so important...it's the only way I can keep my arms around this place. But that was then. THEN. You know, last week?

Something happened this week, though. The mild hip socket pain from my hips widening for delivering the baby? It's left the mild category and become excruciating at times. No, not labor-excruciating, but painful enough to sit on an ice pad at every opportunity, and I hate icing things...it's too cold! And the freak belly button pain I sometimes feel from the left over nerve bundle that was left in there when I was born all those years ago? It can be so uncomfortable that it doubles me over...only my belly is too big to double over. And did I mention tired? Well, after making it through the first 4 months of Alia's life, I now understand a new level of tired, different from any tired that I previously knew. But the last 2/3s of the 3rd trimester is a different kind of tired. It's the "my whole body hurts and if I don't lie down right now and nap, I might fall down" type of physical exhaustion.

So today, Alia was spunky as ever. Bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to TODDLE! from here to there...there to here. Oops, almost bumped head...keep up Mommy...it's your job to protect me from me! Let's read stories! Let's play with toys! Let's not take a nap when it's time! Let's force you to keep up with me for an extra 47 minutes even though you look like you're falling down, Mommy! And I'm not kidding. That's my beautiful girl. So full of energy. So full of giggles. Just wants to interact and learn and grow and test out all her new moves she's been refining over the last months. But when will the battery tire? When will she need to go back to her cage crib to be recharged?

Well, it finally happened. And today? rather than going through my exhaustive high-paced routine detailed above, I grabbed my bowl of cereal, came directly to the almond-skin covered designer couch that really deserves to be cleaned off before planting my big pregnant butt on it, and plopped down and put my big, swollen feet on the coffee table.  And here I am. Pondering the difference between last week and this week.

Talking on the toe

You may have seen this picture before...the one where Alia is talking on the "phone", only it's a remote control? Sometime last month, Alia became intrigued with talking on the "phone"...then she talked on the remote control...then she talked on the pen....then she talked on the leaf from our olive tree. But today? Definitely takes the cake.

Alia and I were playing on my bed...she enjoys beating up on the pillows, moving them around, and being tickled in the process. I sat on the bed cross legged, keeping her from launching herself off the side of the bed, and that's when it happened. She caught a glimpse of my big toe. So I wiggled it at her...and before I knew it, she had lowered her head to toe-level, held my toe in her little hand, and said in her very high-pitched talking-on-the-phone voice "Da-da-da-da-da??"

what if...?

Last night while we were watching Top Chef Las Vegas, I had a feeling wash over me...what if I can't handle a second baby? What if I'm not good at it? What if it's a huge terrible change for Alia...a mistake? What if our desire to have another baby and thus a sister for Alia ends up with them hating each other and resenting us? What if I'm not capable of handling a newborn and a 15 month old?
So I voiced these concerns to Ajay. He not only reassured me that I would do great, but also reminded me that about the same time last pregnancy I felt the same way...panicky and second guessing myself.
He's right. I felt the exact same way during the 3rd trimester last time. I wondered about the unknown. How will I deal with the sleeplessness that everyone warns you about? Our life of travel and going out to nice dinners on the weekends would change dramatically...was I ready for it? Was I ready to give up the convenience of having total freedom versus giving up my freedom entirely? Was I awful for thinking all these thoughts that surrounded what I was losing versus what we'd be gaining? Then the guilt. How could I think these things after all we'd been through to create Alia?
Looking back on that time, and comparing it to this time, I realize I don't have the same fears. It's not about "what's it like to be a parent?" or "what's it like to have a baby that relies on you for everything?" I think my anxiety this time is me realizing that as far as the having-one-toddler thing goes, I've got it down. We're doing great. We manage. We have fun together. Like I said...we're great. So it comes down to rocking the proverbial boat, and changing things up now that I feel like I'm totally comfortable.
I guess time will tell how we incorporate the newest member of our family into her place. I suppose there's no way of knowing what's to come other than looking to our history...and when I reflect on the moment Alia joined our lives, it just seemed like everything made sense. 

Let's wait for Daddy with Daddy!

On most days, Ajay gets done with work before Alia's 7PM bedtime. And on these days, Ajay gives us a call on the way home to give me a time estimate, and when the time is right, Alia and I go out and wait on the front step for his arrival.

I whisper in her ear that Daddy's coming. We point to the direction he comes from. She focuses very intensely on the road, making sure not to miss the silver car as it comes over the hill and approaches the driveway. As Alia waits, she points in the right direction. She claps with happiness. She whispers "wi-djoo wi-djoo wi-djoo". Finally, after much patience, the silver car makes it's appearance, and Alia's little face lights up like a beacon. She stands, claps, and shrieks. And as Daddy pulls into the driveway, I pass Alia through the open window, and she gets to park the car in the garage on Daddy's lap (I know, Britney Spears is in fact my parenting roll model). Anyway, this little ritual happens about 4 days a week.

This weekend, however, Alia was getting restless around 5:30 PM. Ajay and I just couldn't figure out what was the issue. Hungry? Nope. Diaper issue? Nope. Clothing malfuction of the pinchy variety? Nope. Tired? Not really. And that's when I thought of it. I asked Alia if she wanted to go wait for Daddy with Daddy. She looked up with her brightest eyes, and nodded her head. Or at least, I think she nodded her head, and that definitely makes the story better, doesn't it?

With that, Ajay scooped her up and took her out to the front step. I watched as he pointed in the direction that he'd be arriving from. They clapped together, and Alia whispered "wi-djoo, wi-djoo, wi-djoo". And all was right with the world again.

What started out as a friendly game of magnets....

Every day, at some point in time, Alia and I end up in the laundry room and play with the magnets on the washing machine. This entails pulling the magnets off the washer, biting them, and attempting to put them back on. And mind you, this isn't as easy as it sounds for a baby...you have to manipulate the magnet to be face-out so it will stick...and that can be tough!

Now, picture if you will, me sitting Indian style in front of the above machine, and Alia going back and forth, from the dryer to the washer, pulling magnets down, trying to put them back up, and shrieking with glee. She butts in front of me to get where she needs to go, or goes around back of me. She toddles. She drops to crawling. She stands back up with fierce concentration. Proud of her accomplishment, she smiles her biggest, sweetest Alia-smile, and toddles toward me, step....step...step.... I feel love fill my heart as this beautiful, sweet, endearing sweetie pie of a little girl makes her way to me. Finally, she stands inches away...we look at each other, eye to eye, her standing, me sitting. I am totally glamoured by her her cuteness (yes, True Blood reference) And she raises her cute chubby little hand, still smiling, and smacks me square across the face. Hard.

Poor Froggy

Have I mentioned Froggy before? Well, he's Alia's guy...you know, the one she can't nap without, can't travel without, can't leave her room without? He's her favorite favorite guy....her very best friend.

That said, being Alia's best friend isn't the easiest job in the world...since we got the video monitor, we've witnessed her outright abuse of Froggy time and time again. See, not only does she share her quiet time and secrets with Froggy, but she also abuses him relentlessly. She hits him in the face repeatedly, tackles him, throws him around, bites him constantly, and carries him around the house in her mouth like a puppy. Froggy is loved so aggressively and slobbery he has to be tossed into the wash at least every other day.

But today took the cake...I actually had to look twice to figure what the hell was going on....

That's right....Froggy looks like he's been bloodied up in a street fight. Using skills I picked up by watching 4,987 episodes of Law & Order (and it's spinoffs) I deduced the blood, in fact, was not Froggy's. What actually happened is that Alia's poor little teething mouth sprung a leak, and in one of her typical aggressive shows of affection, her "love bites" turned Froggy into a handy wipe for Alia's bloody "kisses".

A very busy week!

Last week, the nesting hit high gear...
The new car seat covers finally came. Yes, I'm reusing Alia's infant car seat for our new baby considering Alia just outgrew it a month ago. And since it had a similar car seat cover on it for the duration that Alia used it, it's like brand new still! So here's the carseat sans cover...freshly washed and like new....



...and here she is all dressed up in her new outfit!


We also hung a new closet pole beneath the existing one for our new baby's clothes, and with Alia's help, pulled out the newborn clothes and got them all ready for the newest Lalvani...

and my how tiny those newborn clothes are!!!

I got the new crib put together...


...and dressed the bed with linens that match Alia's...

..and rearranged the baby's room.....









...whew...and I wondered where the week went and why I didn't have a chance to write much! And I didn't even mention that I did a major overhaul of the garage, and framed dozens of new photos and placed them throughout the house!