Back in the saddle...or, rather, stirrups

Today I went to see Dr. H., my fertility genius. It's that time again!!!

 

Unfortunately I had to miss my day 3 appointment a couple of days ago because of my yucky flu bug,  but Dr. H. assured me it wouldn't slow us down at all in the progression towards making Alia's sibling. So today's appointment was only an ultrasound and a blood draw...this is my "work up" month...meaning no drugs, just checking to see how my body is functioning since having Alia. I think she said we were checking my thyroid and a few other things...I wrote them down because I never remember the details; a lot of good it did me...see? Now I can't find my notes!

Anyway, I have to have an HSS within the week, which is a minor procedure where they'll fill my uterus with saline and visualize my baby holder with ultrasound. The goal is to determine if there's any scarring or other issues with my uterus since my c-section. So hopefully that'll happen and all will be well, and next month, I'll start the drugs to make me ready to receive and implant those nice frozen embryos. 

What I'm Thankful For

Well, this is our first Thanksgiving with Alia, and it's been one year to the day that we announced that I was pregnant. Last year, we had about 20 people here at the house for Thanksgiving, and so much has changed since then.

First and foremost, I am thankful that I am married to my soul mate. I can't imagine what my life would be without him. We've navigated through a lot together, and every step of the way, I've always known without a doubt that I am married to a good man. A caring man. He is kind and supportive and sensitive. He loves his family above anything else, and is a wonderful husband and an amazing father.

I am thankful for my beautiful little girl Alia. I never knew that love could feel like this...so completely protective and 100% without question. The journey we traveled to add this little lady to our family was long and at times tumultuous, and I'd do it again a hundred times over if I had to. I am thankful that every morning when I go in to greet her in her crib, she has a wide open smile for me. She squeaks with happiness when she sees me for the first time. I am thankful that she is healthy and happy. I am thankful she is going to be raise in a family that loves her so much. I am thankful that Ajay's hard work allows me to stay at home and experience every moment of her life.

I am thankful for my friends and family. My family and friends have given me a lot of support over the last few years. At times when I was ready to throw in the towel on having a baby because the drugs were screwing with my head too much and making me downright miserable...the people in my life saw me through it. And now that Alia is here, these same people are still right along side of me to share in the joy that she brings.

I guess you could summarize that I am thankful for knowing love like I know it.

I'm so lucky

What a rough few days it's been! A couple of days ago, I woke up and my immediate thought was uh-oh. I felt sick to my stomach. And considering that Ajay had been under the weather for several days while we were in Florida, I had a feeling that I knew what was ahead of me.

Long story short? When Ajay left for work, I had already begun throwing up and well, you know, the other end too also joined the party. I couldn't leave the toilet by 8:30 in the morning. By 9:00 I called Ajay at work and begged him to try to do whatever he could to come home early...that I couldn't take care of Alia since at this point, vomit was coming from my nose!

That's when I heard my neighbors voices in my head..."if you ever need anything...we're just a few steps away". Now seriously, there are good neighbors and there are good neighbors, but our good neighbors would win any prize in that category. They've become our adopted family and we're so fortunate to have them. So I picked up the phone, and between dry heaves and tears, asked if Carol could come and stay with Alia during the day until Ajay got home. And she didn't hesitate...she was here within a blink of an eye.

So I spent the day in bed, and in the bathroom, and Alia spent some quality time with Aunt Carol. From time to time, I would wake from my coma to go barf or well, you get the picture, and I would hear Carol's sweet voice talking to Alia, and Alia cooing back to Carol. Not only did Carol save the day, but I actually think Alia preferred a change of pace!

So there you have it...Alia's first time being baby sat. And we both survived!

Alia is 4 months old

Well another month has passed, and I just can't believe how fast time is flying. My little 6 pound bug that I brought home from the hospital now weighs 16 pounds. She is bigger than her 7 month old cousin. She is as tall as a 9 month old baby that she met when we were in Florida. She's a very healthy girl!

This month, Alia has really begun coming out of her shell. Every morning when I go to greet her in her crib, she puts on a huge smile and squeaks with happiness. She now understands what it is to play together...she loves anything that builds anticipation. Ajay holds her on his lap as I wiggle my fingers and say "I'm going to get you!". As I get closer and closer, Ajay wiggles his legs and jostles her around, and when I finally make it to her and tickle her and kiss her, she giggles with a huge wide mouth smile. I just can't get enough of her.

Alia is also learning patience, believe it or not. Don't get me wrong, my home girl can definitely snap if I'm not quick enough to please her. But she is mellowing...she tolerates that it takes time to heat the bottle. She also tolerates my meticulousness when it comes to cleaning her face, ears, and neck every morning. This new mellowness also makes me much more comfortable taking her places...she is a good little passenger for the most part (unless we over do it and she gets tired, but who's to blame there?). Alia is also very social...she loves new faces and does her best to make a positive first impression by giving everyone her best smile.

This past week, Alia discovered that she has feet. While we were visiting my Dad, Ajay was sitting outside with her one afternoon and reported that she looked at her feet for about 20 minutes. And now that she knows about them, she interacts with them. The cutest thing is when she lifts her feet up and grabs them to hold them out of the way during diaper changes...the whole time she looks up at me like, "Look, Mommy, I'm helping". Yes, you are you little perfect sweetie.

Alia is showing signs of being ready for solid foods, and we intend to begin her on rice cereal after her 4 month appointment with the pediatrician this week. She is showing signs of hunger after 2 hours where she previously would nearly always make it 3 hours between bottles.

Last week, Alia slept through the entire night...12 hours in a row....5 times. This was while we were visiting my Dad in Florida. Sure, once we were back, Alia decided she needed to see me at 11pm and again at 2am, but she has proven she can do it. Now I just need to figure out how to repeat the perfect storm that lead to those results!

Oh, and Alia has a new favorite game...Alia loves to lie on her back and have me tickle her with my hair...she flaps her arms and legs and purses her lips. She can play this little game indefinitely.

We're baaaack!

Hi everybody...

First of all, sorry for the confusion of my last blog entry...no, I'm not stopping this blog...I stopped writing my other blog about getting fit after baby. It was consuming too much time to try to do both. Anyway, I suppose I shouldn't have announced the end of a blog just before going on vacation, right? And how were you supposed to know that when we were visiting my Dad, his computer crashed, so there was no way of blogging from there. So, again, here I am, happily typing away, happy to be back, happy to be sharing my thoughts.

Alia on her first flight

Well, a lot has happened since I wrote before Alia's first transcontinental trip. She flew. She met her grandparents. She slept through the night...12 hours in a row!!!! She turned 4 months old. She ate out at restaurants. She got comfortable traveling in her car seat. See? So much has happened in so little time! So with so much to report, I think I'll break it up among a few blogs.

Dad watching as Ajay helps Alia decide what to order

First, as I mentioned, Alia flew on an airplane, and she did so well. I was so proud of her. On the first leg, from Southern California to Atlanta, she was a dream. She smiled at everyone who passed by. She ate a little, slept a little, played a little. She was patient with Mommy when I tried to change her gigantic poopy diaper in the airplane bathroom that didn't have a changing table (because that extra fold down shelf would have been too much for the men who build airplanes to think about....f*ckers). Then, we touched down in Atlanta. We hit the Medallion lounge, where people looked at her skeptically, but she was no threat to their relaxation...she slept like a little angel when she wasn't looking around happily.

Then we boarded our final flight from Atlanta to Daytona. That's when it all became too much. Alia snapped. She didn't want to fly anymore. She didn't want to be on that cold plane. She didn't want to see any more new faces. She didn't want her little tiny ears to pop again. She was done. And she cried. And cried. And then cried some more. Thank the baby Jesus that the flight was only 55 minutes long. As we landed, after waling at the top of her lungs the entire flight, Alia got a case of the happys. As people deplaned, the shot us dirty looks, and Alia responded to each and every one with smiles and cooing noises. That's my little charmer.

So long!

About a month ago, I began my Body after Baby blog, which detailed my efforts of getting my body back to the way I wanted it. As of now, I'm officially throwing in the towel on that blog because I just don't have time to do it. I'm still exercising away, still trying to shed these pounds, but I'm just not going to write about the journey anymore...I figure I have a bigger journey to capture here in cyberspace!

Damn you, environmentally friendly diapers!

I was at Target picking up some diapers and other necessities when I came across a display of environmentally friendlier diapers...it seems they're derived of corn as opposed to most diapers that are derived of oil. Anyway, since I've made the switch to environmentally friendly dish soap and laundry soap and better light bulbs and re-use my grocery bags from Trader Joe's, it only seemed right to explore diapers that are kinder to the Earth, as well. Especially with Little Miss Pee Pee pants using up 18 diapers a day! And no, I never considered letting her pee twice in one diaper. That's just mean.

Anyway, I bought a pack of these diapers that touted better performance all the while being better to the planet...not to mention, who wants an oil-based product next to baby's skin? So I brought them home, and proudly showed off my purchase to Ajay. I explained to him all the selling points of these new diapers, and told him we'd test them out on her next diaper change.

So when the time came, I opened up the first diaper and was taken aback by how much they felt like newspaper with elastic magically infused into the leg holes. I rubbed the inside of the diaper on my face, and then grabbed one of the Pampers and did the same. Yes, clean diapers, mind you. I was horrified. The Earth-friendly diaper was noticeably rougher against my face than the Pampers diaper. And the leg holes didn't stretch and flex like Alia's normal diaper.

Now what? Do I put aside all these convictions I had so recently signed up for? I mean, the landfills! For God sake! How can I go backwards? How can I un-realize what I'm doing to Mother Earth? And putting an oil-based product against Alia's perfect little behind?

So here we are a week later. Every time I change Alia's diaper, I see the choice in the diaper drawer...the "friendly diapers" or the "Earth killers". The Brillo pads versus the silken pee pads. The constrictors versus the comfy. And every time, I reach for the Pampers. I'm that person.

But I figure, when the products are truly equal, then everyone will buy them, so technically I would be doing a disservice to the world if I were to vote with my dollars and purchase an inferior product...because then the company would think they'd done enough...right? I mean, I can't be the only discerning person out there, right? The only person that wants their baby's diaper to both work and be comfortable, in addition to being Earth friendly? I mean, how would you like to wear newspaper underwear with leg holes that were either too loose or constricted blood flow to your lower extremities.

So if you really think about it, I'm being kinder to the planet. Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that every time I reach for the wrong diaper!

Because we haven't had enough photoshoots

As you know, we failed to capture any photos of Alia with her two cousins at Ajay's Dad's 70th birthday photo session. So when my sister in law called and said she was having her own photo shoot for her girls at her house this past weekend, we jumped on the opportunity to join in and try to get the coveted shot. 

My sister in law had all sorts of great ideas about themes and genres to photograph the girls in. She had Christmas outfits, Indian outfits, tutus, tap shoes, ballet shoes, and tons of miscellaneous accessories for the girls. I brought Alia's tutu. 

When the photographer got there and was taken to what Lena dubbed "wardrobe", she took in all the different clothes and ideas with apprehension. Three girls? Two of them babies? And all these costume changes? Hmmm. Maybe we should think about prioritizing.

So we decided to do the girls in tutus first, and that would be the only photo for Miss Alia, who historically doesn't do so well with these types of things. So I dressed her up, and she was happy. Very happy.

Look at me! I'm wearing my tutu! I'm on a big bean bag! I'm happy!!!

Then we added Alia's cousin Ciela, who is 6 months old and typically the most chilled baby in the universe.

Hey! Wait a minute...I don't know if I like this anymore...no one said I'd have to share my bean bag!

Finally, we added Haylah. And the shot was complete...except, well, Ciela of all babies decided that she didn't like this.
...and that's when Alia decided to join in with her very own special brand of inconsolable melt-down. And then? It was time to go home...after, of course, Daddy calmed Alia down just a bit. Oh, and the best part? The photographer didn't capture a single shot of the girls...my snapshots are the only proof that captured this day!

The 70th Birthday Celebration

a snapshot of Ajay's Dad feeding Alia with Uncle Hirroo

A couple of weekends ago, we had a photo shoot here at the house for Ajay's Dad's 70th birthday. Did I mention this? Well, see, there is nothing more valuable to Ajay's Dad's side of the family than the standard professional portrait. Of course, they would prefer the Sears or Olan Mills variety, but since we were having a big celebration lunch here at the house with a chef and everything, it didn't make sense to then cart everyone off to the closest Sears, especially after the bottles of wine we enjoyed at lunch. So we hired the same photographer that did Alia's newborn photos to come back to the house to photograph the family. Especially Ajay's Dad with his 3 granddaughters....that would be the photographic gift of all gifts...the portrait of all portraits. The shangri-la of staged capturing of the moment.

Only...did anyone out there know how hard it is to get yourself ready, the house ready, lunch ready (okay, the chef made lunch, but still...lunch was served), and a baby clean, happy, and camera-ready? Well, it's not easy. Throw in another 6 month old and a nearly 3 year old, and the permutation of things that can go awry exponentially increases. Oh, yeah, and there's Uncle Hirroo, Ajay's Dad's brother. Throw that man into the mix, and well, that's a whole other story for a different day.

So the photographer comes, we're ready, have had a nice lunch, Alia is clean, in her nice dress, and going along with things pretty well. She's been a real sport about being passed around from Granddad to Uncle and back and forth. Until it's time to actually take pictures. That's when the level of activity buzzing around her coupled with the fact that it was the early stage of the witching-hour melt-down time. And Uncle Hirroo insisted on holding her in the photographs-he's the oldest Lalvani, and Alia is the youngest Lalvani so it must be photographed this way in all pictures, right?

Oldest Lalvani with youngest Lalvani

Wrong. Alia didn't want this man she didn't know holding her, grabbing for her, insisting that he hold her freakishly tightly. She didn't want to wear her pretty dress. She didn't want to sit outside in the setting sun. She didn't want to take part in the flurry of activity. She didn't want to be anywhere but inside, with her Mommy and Daddy. And she told us this. Again and again. She hung in there for as many photographs as she could...she did her best.

So in the end, the photograph of Granddad and his three grand daughters didn't happen. Alia had had enough. She was through. And as her Mommy and protector, I pulled the plug, brought her to her room, rocked her, comforted her, and let her take a nice peaceful nap. Which is when the photographer knocked and asked if she could capture her nap. 

Thanks, but no thanks.

What did I forget?

Next week, we're taking Alia to Florida to meet her Grandpa, my Dad. He is the only grandparent she has yet to meet, as he had a medical situation that made it impossible for him to travel to California to meet her.

Because I'm me, I've been jotting down a list of things to take with us to make our journey across the country more comfortable fore everyone. I usually do this for my and Ajay's packing as well. That way nothing is overlooked and I arrive at my destination prepared.

Now that we have an almost 4 month old, I'm shocked to realize that my own packing and organization has fallen by the wayside. Not a single item has been marked on a list for myself or Ajay. Not a single mention of eye cream or cotton pads on a single scrap of paper throughout our house. Nope...in my bag I foresee a pair of jeans, some socks, 3 shirts, and some deodorant. And maybe some makeup if I remember. And in Ajay's bag? I dunno...ask him!

But in Alia's bag? In Alia's bag there will be her noise machine, baby monitor, bottle warmer, 100 diapers, 200 wipes, a portable changing table that folds in half, the scented plastic bags for disposing of used diapers. She'll have bottles, rings, nipples, her bottle brush, formula (both premixed and powder packets), bibs, burp cloths, and of course her Boppy. Alia will have shampoo, body wash, wash cloths, moisturizer, q-tips, cotton pads, baby freshener (leave on soap for spot cleaning between baths) face wipes, hair brush, comb, barrettes. She'll have her Gripe Water, gas medicine, baby Tylenol, nasal aspirator, nail clippers. She won't be without her sun hat, 4 outfits per day, 2 pj's per night, a jacket, her Uggs, oh, and her Mary Jane socks. Alia will have her favorite swaddle blanket, her Baby Bjorn, a variety of cuddly toys, her favorite books. Just to name a few things.