The phone rings. I answer it. It's Ajay calling from the hospital.
Ajay: We need to do something fun before the new little person comes.
Me: We could paint mugs.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Maybe we should have done a little more childproofing...
Tonight Ajay is working a 24 hour overnight at the hospital, which means I've been on solo Alia duty since 7AM. Not such a big deal, except for the fact that she is now faster than me and our house isn't quite as safe as it should be. This means that while we're sitting happily in her play area, at any given moment, she can spring to her feet and take off with a naughty little look on her sweet little face. Up until now, I've counted on my own mobility to keep her safe in my house of horrors.
Sure, I put a baby gate at the top of the stairs that leads to the garage. Yes, we also have a gate that seals off the hallway to her room so she can't escape her "wing" without squawking to be let out. Yes, I've plugged every visible plug with a safety thingy to keep her curious little fingers out. But I kind of thought since she's never shown interest in the 6 or 7 steps that leads up to the house from the front entry that we were home free. I was wrong. So last week, I found an expandable, hideous safety gate for this 80" grand entry stairway and ordered it. Or was it the week before? Regardless, it cannot get here quick enough. Not only do I need this gate, but I also need my toilet-safety latches to be installed. I bought them, yes...but in reading the directions, I realized I'd have to remove the toilet seat to install them. And once I approached this little chore, I realized that several of our toilet seats need to be replaced. Thus, my toilet safety project will have to wait until my new toilet seats arrive. I mean, why go to the trouble of removing the seat, installing the safety latch, replacing the seat, only to re-do the whole process in a week or so.
And let's also talk about the modern style of our home. We have polished concrete floors throughout our home. Yes...they are hard. But the look really really cool. And so far, Alia has not injured herself in her toddling about because of the concrete floors. However, I haven't talked about the modern and other dangerous furniture that she has hurt herself on from time to time, all while we're standing 4 inches from her. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like we need a visit from CPS or anything...we're talking normal bumps on her head on the coffee table and stuff like that. But how safe can you make a Barcelona chair? In case you're wondering what in the world that is, here you go....
Yes, I put some of the adhesive spongey corner things on the corners of the ottoman, but it's still a trip to the ER waiting to happen. And what about that hundred year old coffee table made from an Indian door with hand-forged metal work? Huh? What in the hell am I supposed to do with that thing? Well, I'll show you what I did....
Yeah, we put those adhesive spongey things on the most dangerous of the corners, but there is still quite a bit about danger potential all about this table...the sides have little sharp metal thingys that can scrape little fingers and legs that are passing by.
So like I said, having Alia to myself from the time she gets up in the morning throughout the day (including bath time, and I haven't even gone there....my once-content water-baby in now a wild animal in the bath who refuses to sit and will do a nice spinny dance for you the whole time!) is not the biggest deal for a normal healthy 37 year old...but one that's 8 months pregnant? Makes for a challenging day!
Sure, I put a baby gate at the top of the stairs that leads to the garage. Yes, we also have a gate that seals off the hallway to her room so she can't escape her "wing" without squawking to be let out. Yes, I've plugged every visible plug with a safety thingy to keep her curious little fingers out. But I kind of thought since she's never shown interest in the 6 or 7 steps that leads up to the house from the front entry that we were home free. I was wrong. So last week, I found an expandable, hideous safety gate for this 80" grand entry stairway and ordered it. Or was it the week before? Regardless, it cannot get here quick enough. Not only do I need this gate, but I also need my toilet-safety latches to be installed. I bought them, yes...but in reading the directions, I realized I'd have to remove the toilet seat to install them. And once I approached this little chore, I realized that several of our toilet seats need to be replaced. Thus, my toilet safety project will have to wait until my new toilet seats arrive. I mean, why go to the trouble of removing the seat, installing the safety latch, replacing the seat, only to re-do the whole process in a week or so.
So like I said, having Alia to myself from the time she gets up in the morning throughout the day (including bath time, and I haven't even gone there....my once-content water-baby in now a wild animal in the bath who refuses to sit and will do a nice spinny dance for you the whole time!) is not the biggest deal for a normal healthy 37 year old...but one that's 8 months pregnant? Makes for a challenging day!
Friday, September 25, 2009
93. Seriously.
That's right. It's 93 degrees here in Laguna Beach. I can't even begin to put into words just how hot that feels in my very well-insulated and highly vascularized pregnant body. And it's the end of September. When are we going to get a break? And by we, I mean I.
Yeah, and if that's not enough to make your blood boil, try getting an e-notice from the power company that your bill for last month is...drum roll....$754. Yeah. That's more than my baby crib cost. That's endless baby clothes...that's a lot of good wine (for when I'm not pregnant). That's international airfare. That's...that's...that's a lot of f-ing money!!!! And by the way, it's not like I keep the house at a nice cool 72 degrees. Our thermostat is always set at 76 degrees, and it's not like our inside temperature ever reaches that because we have skylights throughout the house that creates a green house effect.
Bitch, bitch, bitch. Whine, whine, whine. Welcome to the final 5 weeks of pregnancy where everything is uncomfortable and annoying!
Yeah, and if that's not enough to make your blood boil, try getting an e-notice from the power company that your bill for last month is...drum roll....$754. Yeah. That's more than my baby crib cost. That's endless baby clothes...that's a lot of good wine (for when I'm not pregnant). That's international airfare. That's...that's...that's a lot of f-ing money!!!! And by the way, it's not like I keep the house at a nice cool 72 degrees. Our thermostat is always set at 76 degrees, and it's not like our inside temperature ever reaches that because we have skylights throughout the house that creates a green house effect.
Bitch, bitch, bitch. Whine, whine, whine. Welcome to the final 5 weeks of pregnancy where everything is uncomfortable and annoying!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Alia is 14 months old!
I'm writing this as Alia is being taken for a stroll around the neighborhood by Mommy's Helper. No, I still haven't come to terms that I have a very part-time nanny...hell, just writing down that I have (and need) help was a big step for me. But that's not the point.
As I'm watching my 8 month tummy do lots of dances, I think about what's to come, but wanted to focus on where we are currently rather than allowing myself to jump ahead. I just realized that I only have 2 more months of writing about just one baby...as of 11/2, we'll be a 2 baby household. Anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to jot down a few things about the daily activities and requirements of Alia right now so that we have a point of comparison 15 months from now when her sister is the same age.
Let's talk about sleep. My girl requires a little more than average. She is sleeping on average 11-12 hours per night, and still does 2 naps a day...for a total of 2-3 daytime hours of sleep. I've read that most toddlers her age need about 13 hours per day, but on the days that she gets only 13 hours, she's blitzed by the end of the day. Crabby, hysterical, flailing about. You get the picture. So like I said, she just needs a little more sleep than the average toddler. And it's not surprising...she's growing like crazy and is a very active girl. She doesn't sit still for a moment; while she loves reading, she prefers books that require her to move and interact. For example, right now she loves From Head to Toe by Eric Carl. It starts out "I'm a Penguin and I can turn my head....can you do it?" and to this Alia responds by clapping her hands. See, in a few more pages, we'll get to the seal, who asks if she, too, can clap. And she also loves to stomp the floor when the elephant asks her to do so....but she stomps with her hands because that's what her 8-month pregnant Mommy taught her to do. No, I cannot get up and stomp my feet every time we read this book...hell, I can hardly get up to go pee at this point. But that's neither her nor there.
In addition to being a good sleeper, Alia is also a good eater. Her diet is mainly vegetarian, but she's had fish, turkey, and chicken and even beef too. She tries everything, but still has her favorites....among them plain yogurt, yogurt mixed with fresh fruit, strawberries, peanut butter sandwiches, melon of any kind, black beans, and spinach frittatas (yes, she's my little foodie). She likes pasta, Indian food, and a new favorite....toast with butter. We discovered this on a recent trip to Costco, when they were giving out samples of a multigrain bread, toasted with butter. Basically she eats everything we eat, simple or complex.
Socially, Alia interacts well with adults, and is very intrigued by other little ones...especially older little girls. Alia is also very aware of her cuteness...or perhaps I just can't imagine that she's not aware of it. When she comes toddling toward me with her biggest smile, clutching Froggy to her cheek, I am just amazed at her draw. She's like a force field.
Alia has enjoyed the pool this summer...she swims with Daddy every chance she gets. Many days I join the dynamic duo, but at this point, it's better that Daddy wrangles our little rascal...her thrashing arms and legs can be very painful when they connect with my big pregnant belly.
Alia has always been good at sharing her feelings about things. Take this morning for example...I thought it would be funny to put socks on her Froggy. Alia did not like this...at all. It wasn't funny. It was the opposite of funny. It was a very bad idea. Bad Mommy. On the other hand, Alia loves '90s rap. Naughty by Nature (O.P.P.), and DJ EZ Rock (It takes two). I don't know what else to say about this other than when Mommy plays it, the maestro finger goes up and keeps a perfect beat. It reminds Mommy of college fraternity parties where we drank from cheap kegs and had a lot of hangovers, but that's neither here nor there.
Alia is now a combination clown and comedian. You ask for a funny face? You get one..
As I'm watching my 8 month tummy do lots of dances, I think about what's to come, but wanted to focus on where we are currently rather than allowing myself to jump ahead. I just realized that I only have 2 more months of writing about just one baby...as of 11/2, we'll be a 2 baby household. Anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to jot down a few things about the daily activities and requirements of Alia right now so that we have a point of comparison 15 months from now when her sister is the same age.
Let's talk about sleep. My girl requires a little more than average. She is sleeping on average 11-12 hours per night, and still does 2 naps a day...for a total of 2-3 daytime hours of sleep. I've read that most toddlers her age need about 13 hours per day, but on the days that she gets only 13 hours, she's blitzed by the end of the day. Crabby, hysterical, flailing about. You get the picture. So like I said, she just needs a little more sleep than the average toddler. And it's not surprising...she's growing like crazy and is a very active girl. She doesn't sit still for a moment; while she loves reading, she prefers books that require her to move and interact. For example, right now she loves From Head to Toe by Eric Carl. It starts out "I'm a Penguin and I can turn my head....can you do it?" and to this Alia responds by clapping her hands. See, in a few more pages, we'll get to the seal, who asks if she, too, can clap. And she also loves to stomp the floor when the elephant asks her to do so....but she stomps with her hands because that's what her 8-month pregnant Mommy taught her to do. No, I cannot get up and stomp my feet every time we read this book...hell, I can hardly get up to go pee at this point. But that's neither her nor there.
In addition to being a good sleeper, Alia is also a good eater. Her diet is mainly vegetarian, but she's had fish, turkey, and chicken and even beef too. She tries everything, but still has her favorites....among them plain yogurt, yogurt mixed with fresh fruit, strawberries, peanut butter sandwiches, melon of any kind, black beans, and spinach frittatas (yes, she's my little foodie). She likes pasta, Indian food, and a new favorite....toast with butter. We discovered this on a recent trip to Costco, when they were giving out samples of a multigrain bread, toasted with butter. Basically she eats everything we eat, simple or complex.
Socially, Alia interacts well with adults, and is very intrigued by other little ones...especially older little girls. Alia is also very aware of her cuteness...or perhaps I just can't imagine that she's not aware of it. When she comes toddling toward me with her biggest smile, clutching Froggy to her cheek, I am just amazed at her draw. She's like a force field.
Alia has enjoyed the pool this summer...she swims with Daddy every chance she gets. Many days I join the dynamic duo, but at this point, it's better that Daddy wrangles our little rascal...her thrashing arms and legs can be very painful when they connect with my big pregnant belly.
Alia has always been good at sharing her feelings about things. Take this morning for example...I thought it would be funny to put socks on her Froggy. Alia did not like this...at all. It wasn't funny. It was the opposite of funny. It was a very bad idea. Bad Mommy. On the other hand, Alia loves '90s rap. Naughty by Nature (O.P.P.), and DJ EZ Rock (It takes two). I don't know what else to say about this other than when Mommy plays it, the maestro finger goes up and keeps a perfect beat. It reminds Mommy of college fraternity parties where we drank from cheap kegs and had a lot of hangovers, but that's neither here nor there.
Alia is now a combination clown and comedian. You ask for a funny face? You get one..
Oh, and by the way...did I mention the swing? She is once again a bona fide swing hog. Alia will swing for an hour at a time, and will cry when she's finally dragged off. We actually have to trick her and pull her off the swing while standing behind her so she won't see that her favorite ride is over.
This month we've seen some truly amazing cognitive development. One day she began using sign language to communicate as if it were nothing...she saw a banana in a book and pointed to it and then made the sign for it. I asked her if she was hungry and she responded with the sign for eating. Like I said, truly remarkable development in a very short time. She is very teachable right now, which means I'll be watching more of the Baby Signing Time videos and teaching her as much as she's ready to learn (no, I still haven't caved and allowed Alia to watch TV...I know, I'm a freak, but I'm happy being a freak, so leave me alone...and bring me a piece of cake while you're at it...chocolate).
So that's where we're at...Alia is still the baby of the house, but only for about 6 more weeks. I cannot believe this can possibly be true for a variety of reasons, but watching my baby transform into a toddler in such a short amount of time has taught me the importance of living in this moment.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Teeny Tiny Diapers
In my mind, the last thing on my list of things to buy for our new baby's arrival was newborn diapers. You know, those teeny tiny little diapers that fold up like a crouton when you're done with them?
Well, the order has been placed. They will arrive today. Those teeny, tiny, little bitty diapers for the newest Lalvani girl. And today? I plan to plant them in all the right places...the changing table in their room, the alternate changing table in the bathroom off the living room, and I suppose some will even go in the cargo space in the back of my car. They will look tiny next to Alia's size 5s. I can't wait!
Why so excited about the arrival of newborn underpants? I don't know...maybe it makes it more real in my mind...forget that there is a new crib with new bedding and freshly washed onesies of the newborn variety hanging in the closet. Forget that I"m now getting so big around the middle that it's nearly impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in for more than 3 hours at a time. Forget all of that...it's the teeny tiny diapers that are sealing my psychological deal in my head. And did I mention? They arrive today!
Well, the order has been placed. They will arrive today. Those teeny, tiny, little bitty diapers for the newest Lalvani girl. And today? I plan to plant them in all the right places...the changing table in their room, the alternate changing table in the bathroom off the living room, and I suppose some will even go in the cargo space in the back of my car. They will look tiny next to Alia's size 5s. I can't wait!
Why so excited about the arrival of newborn underpants? I don't know...maybe it makes it more real in my mind...forget that there is a new crib with new bedding and freshly washed onesies of the newborn variety hanging in the closet. Forget that I"m now getting so big around the middle that it's nearly impossible to find a comfortable position to sleep in for more than 3 hours at a time. Forget all of that...it's the teeny tiny diapers that are sealing my psychological deal in my head. And did I mention? They arrive today!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Then VS. Now
So here we are...32 weeks pregnant. And something has changed. Oh, sure, gradually over the last 32 weeks, a lot has changed...my weight, my shape, my clothing size, my skin (gotta love the mask of pregnancy), even my shoes and shoe size. But what I'm talking about is that part of the third trimester where things really change...
Last week, when Alia went down for her morning nap (yes, she's nearly 14 months old and still takes 2 naps a day...what about it?) I would jump into gear, unload the dishwasher, put away the dishes, wash the coffee pot, wipe off the countertops, clean the highchair, sweep the floor, load the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher, hand wash Alia's bottles (yes, Alia is almost 14 months old and loves her bottles passionately...sippy cups? No way, Jose. That's right, what about it?). I'd unload the clothes from the dryer, put clothes from the washer into the now vacant dryer. While I"m down there, I gather up all the magnets that Alia has pulled off the washer and dryer and replace them to avoid stepping on them. I'd make my bed, and then toss the freshly dried clothes on my bed and begin folding and put them away.
From here I'd go to the play room and put all the stuffed animals back in the stuffed animal bin. I'd return books from all over the house to Alia's book bin. The remaining toys would be carefully regrouped with similar components (stacking cups go with stacking cups, Little People go with their accessories) and placed in their bins. When everything is back in order, I put the lids on the bins and turn to the TV room, which probably looks like a tornado hit it from watching TV there last night. I start by sweeping crumbs off the couch. Then replace the pillows where they belong, reposition the sectional pieces of the couch so that they line up with the room (why didn't I have the delivery guy connect the couch underneath when he offered??). I wipe away the crumbs from last night's dinner off the coffee table, and clear any remaining dishes (not dinner dishes...that's gross...give us some credit for God's sake!...I mean glasses of water, dishes that contained Ajay's before bed bedtime snack of a handful of almonds...you get the idea) and put them in the dishwasher. Now that the house is in order, I grab a bowl of cereal for myself and sit down for 5 minutes or so and eat.Then it's hair/makeup for the next 3.7 minutes, and guess who's awake!
Alia! And she's ready to play! And go somewhere! And be entertained! And take the magnets off the washer! And let's look at books! All of them! And so the cycle begins. Now, it may seem like a pointless effort to spend the morning tidying up last night and this morning's toys, but let me tell you (and if you have kids, you know this)...you can't let it get away from you. If you don't regroup, there will be hell to pay. Sure, maybe not this minute, but more like at the end of the day when your husband is relaxing on the couch like every other night and you're still doing dishes and glaring at him like "doesn't he know that this shit has to be done and why isn't he doing it?" and in reality, he's just doing what he does every day, and you're the one that has changed the variables and now expect him to read your mind even though he DOES NOT SEE what the hell you're so upset about...the shoes over there? Doesn't see them. The remote on the floor in the other room that belongs in here? Doesn't see it. The fact that the magazines are scattered on the coffee table rather than being neatly stacked? Doesn't see that either. So it seems that you in fact, are the crazy one...not him. Sorry...I digress. Anyway, that tangent was necessary in order for you to fully understand why my daily schedule is so important...it's the only way I can keep my arms around this place. But that was then. THEN. You know, last week?
Something happened this week, though. The mild hip socket pain from my hips widening for delivering the baby? It's left the mild category and become excruciating at times. No, not labor-excruciating, but painful enough to sit on an ice pad at every opportunity, and I hate icing things...it's too cold! And the freak belly button pain I sometimes feel from the left over nerve bundle that was left in there when I was born all those years ago? It can be so uncomfortable that it doubles me over...only my belly is too big to double over. And did I mention tired? Well, after making it through the first 4 months of Alia's life, I now understand a new level of tired, different from any tired that I previously knew. But the last 2/3s of the 3rd trimester is a different kind of tired. It's the "my whole body hurts and if I don't lie down right now and nap, I might fall down" type of physical exhaustion.
So today, Alia was spunky as ever. Bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to TODDLE! from here to there...there to here. Oops, almost bumped head...keep up Mommy...it's your job to protect me from me! Let's read stories! Let's play with toys! Let's not take a nap when it's time! Let's force you to keep up with me for an extra 47 minutes even though you look like you're falling down, Mommy! And I'm not kidding. That's my beautiful girl. So full of energy. So full of giggles. Just wants to interact and learn and grow and test out all her new moves she's been refining over the last months. But when will the battery tire? When will she need to go back to her cage crib to be recharged?
Well, it finally happened. And today? rather than going through my exhaustive high-paced routine detailed above, I grabbed my bowl of cereal, came directly to the almond-skin covered designer couch that really deserves to be cleaned off before planting my big pregnant butt on it, and plopped down and put my big, swollen feet on the coffee table. And here I am. Pondering the difference between last week and this week.
Last week, when Alia went down for her morning nap (yes, she's nearly 14 months old and still takes 2 naps a day...what about it?) I would jump into gear, unload the dishwasher, put away the dishes, wash the coffee pot, wipe off the countertops, clean the highchair, sweep the floor, load the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher, hand wash Alia's bottles (yes, Alia is almost 14 months old and loves her bottles passionately...sippy cups? No way, Jose. That's right, what about it?). I'd unload the clothes from the dryer, put clothes from the washer into the now vacant dryer. While I"m down there, I gather up all the magnets that Alia has pulled off the washer and dryer and replace them to avoid stepping on them. I'd make my bed, and then toss the freshly dried clothes on my bed and begin folding and put them away.
From here I'd go to the play room and put all the stuffed animals back in the stuffed animal bin. I'd return books from all over the house to Alia's book bin. The remaining toys would be carefully regrouped with similar components (stacking cups go with stacking cups, Little People go with their accessories) and placed in their bins. When everything is back in order, I put the lids on the bins and turn to the TV room, which probably looks like a tornado hit it from watching TV there last night. I start by sweeping crumbs off the couch. Then replace the pillows where they belong, reposition the sectional pieces of the couch so that they line up with the room (why didn't I have the delivery guy connect the couch underneath when he offered??). I wipe away the crumbs from last night's dinner off the coffee table, and clear any remaining dishes (not dinner dishes...that's gross...give us some credit for God's sake!...I mean glasses of water, dishes that contained Ajay's before bed bedtime snack of a handful of almonds...you get the idea) and put them in the dishwasher. Now that the house is in order, I grab a bowl of cereal for myself and sit down for 5 minutes or so and eat.Then it's hair/makeup for the next 3.7 minutes, and guess who's awake!
Alia! And she's ready to play! And go somewhere! And be entertained! And take the magnets off the washer! And let's look at books! All of them! And so the cycle begins. Now, it may seem like a pointless effort to spend the morning tidying up last night and this morning's toys, but let me tell you (and if you have kids, you know this)...you can't let it get away from you. If you don't regroup, there will be hell to pay. Sure, maybe not this minute, but more like at the end of the day when your husband is relaxing on the couch like every other night and you're still doing dishes and glaring at him like "doesn't he know that this shit has to be done and why isn't he doing it?" and in reality, he's just doing what he does every day, and you're the one that has changed the variables and now expect him to read your mind even though he DOES NOT SEE what the hell you're so upset about...the shoes over there? Doesn't see them. The remote on the floor in the other room that belongs in here? Doesn't see it. The fact that the magazines are scattered on the coffee table rather than being neatly stacked? Doesn't see that either. So it seems that you in fact, are the crazy one...not him. Sorry...I digress. Anyway, that tangent was necessary in order for you to fully understand why my daily schedule is so important...it's the only way I can keep my arms around this place. But that was then. THEN. You know, last week?
Something happened this week, though. The mild hip socket pain from my hips widening for delivering the baby? It's left the mild category and become excruciating at times. No, not labor-excruciating, but painful enough to sit on an ice pad at every opportunity, and I hate icing things...it's too cold! And the freak belly button pain I sometimes feel from the left over nerve bundle that was left in there when I was born all those years ago? It can be so uncomfortable that it doubles me over...only my belly is too big to double over. And did I mention tired? Well, after making it through the first 4 months of Alia's life, I now understand a new level of tired, different from any tired that I previously knew. But the last 2/3s of the 3rd trimester is a different kind of tired. It's the "my whole body hurts and if I don't lie down right now and nap, I might fall down" type of physical exhaustion.
So today, Alia was spunky as ever. Bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to TODDLE! from here to there...there to here. Oops, almost bumped head...keep up Mommy...it's your job to protect me from me! Let's read stories! Let's play with toys! Let's not take a nap when it's time! Let's force you to keep up with me for an extra 47 minutes even though you look like you're falling down, Mommy! And I'm not kidding. That's my beautiful girl. So full of energy. So full of giggles. Just wants to interact and learn and grow and test out all her new moves she's been refining over the last months. But when will the battery tire? When will she need to go back to her cage crib to be recharged?
Well, it finally happened. And today? rather than going through my exhaustive high-paced routine detailed above, I grabbed my bowl of cereal, came directly to the almond-skin covered designer couch that really deserves to be cleaned off before planting my big pregnant butt on it, and plopped down and put my big, swollen feet on the coffee table. And here I am. Pondering the difference between last week and this week.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Talking on the toe
Alia and I were playing on my bed...she enjoys beating up on the pillows, moving them around, and being tickled in the process. I sat on the bed cross legged, keeping her from launching herself off the side of the bed, and that's when it happened. She caught a glimpse of my big toe. So I wiggled it at her...and before I knew it, she had lowered her head to toe-level, held my toe in her little hand, and said in her very high-pitched talking-on-the-phone voice "Da-da-da-da-da??"
Thursday, September 10, 2009
what if...?
Last night while we were watching Top Chef Las Vegas, I had a feeling wash over me...what if I can't handle a second baby? What if I'm not good at it? What if it's a huge terrible change for Alia...a mistake? What if our desire to have another baby and thus a sister for Alia ends up with them hating each other and resenting us? What if I'm not capable of handling a newborn and a 15 month old?
So I voiced these concerns to Ajay. He not only reassured me that I would do great, but also reminded me that about the same time last pregnancy I felt the same way...panicky and second guessing myself.
He's right. I felt the exact same way during the 3rd trimester last time. I wondered about the unknown. How will I deal with the sleeplessness that everyone warns you about? Our life of travel and going out to nice dinners on the weekends would change dramatically...was I ready for it? Was I ready to give up the convenience of having total freedom versus giving up my freedom entirely? Was I awful for thinking all these thoughts that surrounded what I was losing versus what we'd be gaining? Then the guilt. How could I think these things after all we'd been through to create Alia?
Looking back on that time, and comparing it to this time, I realize I don't have the same fears. It's not about "what's it like to be a parent?" or "what's it like to have a baby that relies on you for everything?" I think my anxiety this time is me realizing that as far as the having-one-toddler thing goes, I've got it down. We're doing great. We manage. We have fun together. Like I said...we're great. So it comes down to rocking the proverbial boat, and changing things up now that I feel like I'm totally comfortable.
I guess time will tell how we incorporate the newest member of our family into her place. I suppose there's no way of knowing what's to come other than looking to our history...and when I reflect on the moment Alia joined our lives, it just seemed like everything made sense.
So I voiced these concerns to Ajay. He not only reassured me that I would do great, but also reminded me that about the same time last pregnancy I felt the same way...panicky and second guessing myself.
He's right. I felt the exact same way during the 3rd trimester last time. I wondered about the unknown. How will I deal with the sleeplessness that everyone warns you about? Our life of travel and going out to nice dinners on the weekends would change dramatically...was I ready for it? Was I ready to give up the convenience of having total freedom versus giving up my freedom entirely? Was I awful for thinking all these thoughts that surrounded what I was losing versus what we'd be gaining? Then the guilt. How could I think these things after all we'd been through to create Alia?
Looking back on that time, and comparing it to this time, I realize I don't have the same fears. It's not about "what's it like to be a parent?" or "what's it like to have a baby that relies on you for everything?" I think my anxiety this time is me realizing that as far as the having-one-toddler thing goes, I've got it down. We're doing great. We manage. We have fun together. Like I said...we're great. So it comes down to rocking the proverbial boat, and changing things up now that I feel like I'm totally comfortable.
I guess time will tell how we incorporate the newest member of our family into her place. I suppose there's no way of knowing what's to come other than looking to our history...and when I reflect on the moment Alia joined our lives, it just seemed like everything made sense.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Let's wait for Daddy with Daddy!
On most days, Ajay gets done with work before Alia's 7PM bedtime. And on these days, Ajay gives us a call on the way home to give me a time estimate, and when the time is right, Alia and I go out and wait on the front step for his arrival.
I whisper in her ear that Daddy's coming. We point to the direction he comes from. She focuses very intensely on the road, making sure not to miss the silver car as it comes over the hill and approaches the driveway. As Alia waits, she points in the right direction. She claps with happiness. She whispers "wi-djoo wi-djoo wi-djoo". Finally, after much patience, the silver car makes it's appearance, and Alia's little face lights up like a beacon. She stands, claps, and shrieks. And as Daddy pulls into the driveway, I pass Alia through the open window, and she gets to park the car in the garage on Daddy's lap (I know, Britney Spears is in fact my parenting roll model). Anyway, this little ritual happens about 4 days a week.
This weekend, however, Alia was getting restless around 5:30 PM. Ajay and I just couldn't figure out what was the issue. Hungry? Nope. Diaper issue? Nope. Clothing malfuction of the pinchy variety? Nope. Tired? Not really. And that's when I thought of it. I asked Alia if she wanted to go wait for Daddy with Daddy. She looked up with her brightest eyes, and nodded her head. Or at least, I think she nodded her head, and that definitely makes the story better, doesn't it?
With that, Ajay scooped her up and took her out to the front step. I watched as he pointed in the direction that he'd be arriving from. They clapped together, and Alia whispered "wi-djoo, wi-djoo, wi-djoo". And all was right with the world again.
I whisper in her ear that Daddy's coming. We point to the direction he comes from. She focuses very intensely on the road, making sure not to miss the silver car as it comes over the hill and approaches the driveway. As Alia waits, she points in the right direction. She claps with happiness. She whispers "wi-djoo wi-djoo wi-djoo". Finally, after much patience, the silver car makes it's appearance, and Alia's little face lights up like a beacon. She stands, claps, and shrieks. And as Daddy pulls into the driveway, I pass Alia through the open window, and she gets to park the car in the garage on Daddy's lap (I know, Britney Spears is in fact my parenting roll model). Anyway, this little ritual happens about 4 days a week.
This weekend, however, Alia was getting restless around 5:30 PM. Ajay and I just couldn't figure out what was the issue. Hungry? Nope. Diaper issue? Nope. Clothing malfuction of the pinchy variety? Nope. Tired? Not really. And that's when I thought of it. I asked Alia if she wanted to go wait for Daddy with Daddy. She looked up with her brightest eyes, and nodded her head. Or at least, I think she nodded her head, and that definitely makes the story better, doesn't it?
With that, Ajay scooped her up and took her out to the front step. I watched as he pointed in the direction that he'd be arriving from. They clapped together, and Alia whispered "wi-djoo, wi-djoo, wi-djoo". And all was right with the world again.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
What started out as a friendly game of magnets....
Every day, at some point in time, Alia and I end up in the laundry room and play with the magnets on the washing machine. This entails pulling the magnets off the washer, biting them, and attempting to put them back on. And mind you, this isn't as easy as it sounds for a baby...you have to manipulate the magnet to be face-out so it will stick...and that can be tough!
Now, picture if you will, me sitting Indian style in front of the above machine, and Alia going back and forth, from the dryer to the washer, pulling magnets down, trying to put them back up, and shrieking with glee. She butts in front of me to get where she needs to go, or goes around back of me. She toddles. She drops to crawling. She stands back up with fierce concentration. Proud of her accomplishment, she smiles her biggest, sweetest Alia-smile, and toddles toward me, step....step...step.... I feel love fill my heart as this beautiful, sweet, endearing sweetie pie of a little girl makes her way to me. Finally, she stands inches away...we look at each other, eye to eye, her standing, me sitting. I am totally glamoured by her her cuteness (yes, True Blood reference) And she raises her cute chubby little hand, still smiling, and smacks me square across the face. Hard.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)