14 Week Developmental Progress

Here is what BabyCenter.com says about where we're at. We are now in the second trimester! This week's big developments: Our babies can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck their thumbs. Thanks to brain impulses, their facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. Their kidneys are producing urine, which they releases into the amniotic fluid around them a process they'll keep up until birth. They can grasp, too, and when we have our next ultrasound, we may even catch them sucking their thumbs. In other news: Our babies are stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches about the size of a lemon and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces.

14 weeks of bliss

So what's new since I last posted....well, let's see. I've had about 8 days in a row with migraine headaches and throwing up, and with that came a much more potent serving of irritability and grumpiness.

I'm feeling better today so far...no headache and I haven't thrown up, so we'll wait and see if this oasis lasts. I'm no longer trusting days that seem good when I wake up; I found out this weekend they can turn on a dime.

Sunday, for example, I woke up energized, and motivated myself to tend to a few things around here. With several loads of laundry done and the kitchen cleaned and the TV room de-cluttered, I noticed a little nausea creeping in, but considering it was noon I figured it would pass. Within 30 seconds I was experiencing the worst "morning sickness" to date...I actually threw up a stomach full of food, which usually doesn't happen....usually for me I feel sick on an empty stomach and food usually cures that.

So, after that perplexing experience, I decided to take it easy and rest a little and gave my sister a call. We chatted for awhile, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I sneezed a big sneeze and peed in my pants. As in, I had to take off my pants and go immediately to the shower. Ajay found me utterly defeated in the shower and agreed that maybe today just wasn't going to be as wonderful as I had initially thought.

My new addiction (other than meat)

Over the past few days, I've been a Consumer Reports junkie. I have researched everything to car seats to strollers (travel systems versus single seats versus side by sides versus linear design) to high chairs to diaper pails. I've researched crib mattresses, baby thermometers, baby monitor systems and lap pads. I've looked a diapers, wipes, baby bath tubs and bouncy chairs. And that was just today.

I


CAN'T


STOP

See, this all happened when we were hanging out with a friend....we'll call him "Jim". I mentioned the tough time I was having figuring out all the different options of all the different types of baby products we need. This next part is the part I will deny if anyone shows up at my door and wants to confiscate my computer to look for incriminating evidence. Our friend "Jim" gave me a piece of paper with his user name and password for his online Consumer Reports subscription---he said "feel free to use it".

Okay, this is the truth...I used to have a membership to online Consumer Reports---I signed up when I bought my last washer and dryer. But since then I've let the membership lapse. So it's really not that bad, right? I mean, at one time I did pay for the service and never used it, so really it's kind of like the universe evening out....right? And not to mention I feel as if I've been handed a golden key to a new kingdom. I can look at what the experts deemed the best product in any category!!! Why buy the "okay" product when there have been tests and more tests done on competitive products!? I can buy everything assured that I got the right thing!

Okay, STOP!!! See? I'm an addict!!! Perhaps I'm so focused on buying everything "just right" because somewhere in my mind I know that I know absolutely nothing about being a parent. Maybe my quest for buying all the right things is me asserting what little control I have over the reality of having not one new baby, but two...at a time....as a first time parent. Hmmmm....that would make sense....I mean, who cares that I don't know how to make a hungry baby with a dirty diaper stop crying! I've got the world's best car seat! And who cares that we don't have one single baby-safe zone in our entire home....we just put a pool in for God's sake...who cares about that when I've done 19 hours of research on strollers!

Only.....what if what they say is true....that every baby is in fact different. Every baby might not like the same things....they might not like the world's best baby gym. I mean, in reaching out to the 4 people I know with babies, I got 4 different answers on what items they deemed were "can't live without". And what one Mom said she loved, another said was useless.

Wait a minute...I just realized...those silly Moms that I reached out to....they probably don't have the same access to Consumer Reports that I do. They probably just bought all the wrong stuff. Yeah, that makes sense...they didn't do the million hours of research that I did....Yes, I'm sure that's it...not that I'm nervous about parenting like I mentioned above...that's just silly, right?

Here's a reason NOT to shop

Recently I went to lunch with a girlfriend at our local outdoor mall. After lunch we decided to do a little shopping. I noticed a big sale sign in one of my favorite designer stores, and for a moment, I forgot that I am pregnant. Emphasis on "for a moment".

Behind the counter was a 20 year old, 6 foot 3 slender African American. She was very dark and exotic and looked like your run of the mill super model. I noticed the tiniest of baby bumps on her...hardly noticeable...I would have the same bump after Thanksgiving dinner.

The tall giraffe-like creature asked me, "how far along are you?". I answered "13 weeks". She didn't say anything. Then I added "with twins". She replied, "Ohhhhhh! No wonder you're so BIG!"

And no, I didn't ask her how far along she was, because I couldn't bare to hear the answer....probably something like 29 weeks, I'm sure.

Welcome to the honeymoon!

This week the weekly update email I receive from Babycenter.com welcomed me to the honeymoon phase of my pregnancy. It said that morning sickness is now behind me and that my energy had most likely returned. It went on to tell me that I'm in that nice little window where I'm not really showing yet and I won't be having any problems sleeping since I won't find it uncomfortable yet...it explained that this is a very unique time where early pregnancy symptoms like headaches and barfing are behind me, and the later discomfort of sporting around a big 'ol baby hasn't happened yet.

Only....umm, I'm not sure they sent the email to the right pregnant girl. Last week after I blogged about (and bragged about) having 4 barf-free days, as soon as I clicked "publish post", I ran to the bathroom and hurled. This happened for the next 4 consecutive days. And my headaches that reprieved for a few days last week returned too. So I'm still in the thick of early pregnancy symptoms. And here's the kicker....since there are two little people in there, I'm also experiencing some of the fun that goes with later pregnancy...back aches, difficulty getting comfortable at night, waking up each time I need to roll over, which isn't really a roll anymore...I have to sit up to change positions. So my awesome little window is a little bit different than what those funny people at Babycenter so proudly and optimistically predicted.

I've also come into another annoying but predictable phase....being irritable. I suppose that every pregnant girl out there feels this from time to time, but it's nonetheless annoying. I am beyond happy and thankful to finally be expecting our babies, so you can imagine how annoyed I am with myself to feel cranky because I'm nauseous and head-achey every day. My Midwestern upbringing tells me to suck it up and get over it. But I'm still irritable. I don't like to be that way. I want to be pleasant the whole pregnancy through! Because the truth is I couldn't be happier to finally get to look forward to completing our family. But there's something inside of me that makes me kind of turn on myself. For example....today....not a good day. I rarely left the couch. Between trying to sleep off my headache and avoid bright light, and keep whatever contents in my stomach in my stomach by lying down all day, somewhere in there I decided in my mind that I am a big lazy sloth and I really haven't done a single thing in forever...even though I did all the laundry yesterday and went to the store and cleaned up the messes we made this weekend. (See? even here in this blog I'm keeping score of my productivity!!! What the hell?) I'm annoyed with myself. I know the right messages to be sending to myself..."it's okay to take it easy when you don't feel good...give yourself a break on that crankiness...anyone would be cranky after feeling sick for almost 3 months in a row--it's okay!" But somewhere in there I am still keeping score of....myself.

I couldn't tell you the last meal I cooked. Does my husband mind? Not that I can tell...he offers to pick up dinner every night! Does he mind if he has to sift through the basket of clean yet unfolded clothes to find his scrubs for work? Not that I can tell. More than anything he seems entertained by the changes in his normally super-productive bride. The only one keeping score is me. Why am I such a freak? Is it that I'm just not familiar with this level of inactivity? Is it that I never learned how to relax? Is it that I tie my self-worth to how productive I am? Who knows. But all this analysis is making me cranky!

A whole new shopping arena

Now that I've accepted that we've got little ones on the way, I've started to notice products related to little people. I've begun to notice Mom's with double seater strollers, and have even asked a few for their opinions on their strollers. Who knew this would be such a hugely divided and emotional topic.

Basically, my understanding is that you have two options in strollers built for twins....the side by side, and the one-seat-in-front-of-the-other. The side by side models appear to have a few distinct advantages....the babies can both see out of the stroller, making this the more democratic choice---this is the option that Ajay favors just because of the fairness factor. These types also seem inherently a bit easier to load babies into. On the other hand, the one-seat-in-front-of-the-other stollers also have distinct advantages...they are slimmer, and seem easier to maneuver through doors and tight spaces. With these thoughts in mind, Ajay and I headed out to a baby store to test drive strollers. Yes, I know it's premature, but I figure if I am able to determine what it is I want, it'll be easier to take advantage of sales when they happen.

Once we were at the baby store, Ajay and I were quickly overwhelmed and horrified at the selection in front of us. There were TONS of strollers to choose from...obviously mostly single seaters...and boy do those look sleek next to the big bulky two seaters that we're in the market for.

First, I wheeled out a side by side model and tried to spin it around and maneuver it through the aisle....what a nightmare! Even the slimmest side by side model could barely make it through the aisles...I can't imagine wheeling this thing through a crowded mall. And maneuverability? Forget it! I could hardly get the thing to turn left or right. Now I understood what many of the Mom's I'd asked about this type of stroller had not recommended them.

So we moved on and decided to take the one-seat-in-front-of-the-other for a stroll around the store, which Ajay is not fond of because of the unfairness factor....someone has to sit in the rear position and won't be able to see out. Holy sh*t was that thing bulky and ridiculous! It was like driving a train from behind....there are reasons the engine is in the front of the train. Although this stroller was better-shaped for store aisles, it was heavy, bulky, and I felt like I need a front and rear steering system like on a fire engine. And why do these things have to weigh 45 pounds? And why are they nearly all off-road capable? Yes, I understand that Moms today are more fit than ever, and there is a reason for the baby jogger types of products...but seriously, nearly all the strollers have mountain-bike looking tires and serious frames....what happened to the types of strollers from my childhood that collapse into a small pill and fit in your pocket? Call me crazy but I just don't understand why an every day stroller needs the same frame and shocks as a mountain bike.

Finally, a new reality set in when I tried to imagine pulling any of these strollers out of my trunk; I was horrified to realize that everything my girlfriend's with babies said about me needing a bigger car was true....there's no way I could possibly fit either one of these types of strollers in my trunk. Before this point, I'd always said I'd keep my car and make it work. I love my car. It comfortably seats 4, it's fast, it's fun, and it's.....well, it's my car and I like it. But now I realize that if there are two care seats in the back seat, as well as a diaper bag and two changes of clothes in the passenger seat, and the huge-as-a-house double stroller collapsed and folded into my trunk that won't close without a bungie cord....well, where will the groceries go? Where will the ANYTHING go?

The latest

I am tallying a record 3 days without barfing. Up until now, the record has been 2 days in a row without barfing. It may seem like a very little thing to those living outside my body, but in here it's definitely reason to celebrate.

This week I feel that I'm in health care overdrive. Yesterday was my "graduation" from my fertility doctor, as well as my 12 week screen where they were able to tell me the gender of my little people, and then today a general checkup. Tomorrow I am getting labs done to check how my thyroid is doing....they've attempted to slow it down with pills that I take every morning on an empty stomach....I've only been managing to keep those little pills down maybe 3 days a week, so they want more of my blood. After going for soooo long without a blood draw---okay, wait a minute...I had some blood drawn yesterday......well, before that it had been at least 3 weeks, which in the IVF process seems like an eternity! Anyway, I'm hoping all the veins in my arm didn't collapse in the last weeks.

Last night Ajay had to cover for one of his partners who went home sick, and didn't get home until 8 this morning....and he went to work at 6 a.m. yesterday. After being up all night, he slept most of the day and got up in time to go with me to today's regular OB appointment. More than anything I wanted him to be able to see what I've seen and hear those little heartbeats. The babies are now moving about and wiggling and it's much more fun to watch. So anyway, on the way to the Dr., we had to make a pit stop....for a meatball sub...and no, it wasn't lunch time. But Ajay sweetly pointed out that the babies didn't care about lunch time...they just knew it was meatball sub time....Again. (Sidebar: my sister in law's twin Dena gave up meat in November, and I'm so grateful for that....I don't have to feel quite so guilty about killing more animals with all this extra meat I'm eating....I just look at it like I'm eating her share, so it's a wash with the universe.)

Today's visit with my OB was a good one. I have definitely found the right OB for me. She's constantly reassuring, constantly calm, and always positive. She told me that I can behave like a normal person for the next 8 weeks. I can exercise (lightly), I can take short trips on airplanes (Bali is still off limits), and I can even have S-E-X!!!! Now this may not be news for you other gals out there, but for me, this is NEWS. Not to get into too much detail since many relatives that really don't want to think about my sex life read this blog, but seriously....if the infertility process doesn't ruin the fun of sex with all the stop and go, now wait, no....try again tomorrow, or better yet, we'll just put it in there for you artificially.....well, if that doesn't put a damper on feelings realated to sex, IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) comes with a 12 week ban of any sex after conception. So being able to live like a normal person again is VERY VERY awesome. Now don't get me wrong....I'm not going to jump off my comfy couch and go for a 8 mile run...but it's nice to know that if I could get out from under this cheeseburger...and then the nap that usually follows eating....well, I could technically do something exercise related if I wanted to.

Read this only if you want gender information!

This week has been a busy one. Yesterday, I "graduated" from the care of my fertility specialist, which means I'm through the first trimester and now it's time to see only my OB.

Yesterday was also my 12 week scan. They do this scan to measure the back of the babies' necks to help them determine the risk level of downs syndrome. That was my first belly probe ultrasound...up until now they've been doing, well....a more invasive ultrasound. The belly type of probe works on a different frequency and showed us much better detail than what I'm used to seeing. Since we were seeing everything so clearly, I asked the stenographer if she could tell the gender. "Oh, sure, usually I can". This was a shocker for me...considering everything I had heard up until this point was they couldn't tell the gender before 4 months.

She asked if I wanted to know, and of course I did. She moved the probe around and around, pressing here and pressing there. So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce everyone to our daughter:
And here is the scan that shows her very strong and regular heartbeat at the bottom of the image:

Then she moved on to Baby B, and repeated the process, the whole time I was watching the baby wiggle a squirm in response to the pressing of the ultrasound probe. Again, without further ado, I'd like to introduce everybody to our son:
And here is another scan showing his very strong healthy heartbeat at the bottom of the image:
I asked the stenographer how sure she was---could the genders be misrepresented or misinterpreted at this early date? She replied that she would be shocked if she was wrong. Good enough!

Since the test was right across the street from Ajay's hospital, I took the photos over to him. He was finishing up a case, so I waited for him in the nurse's lounge. It was really nice to see all the people that I used to work with when I sold surgical products, and they were more than enthusiastic to see the new pictures while I waited for Ajay. One of the nurses went into his O.R. and told him I was waiting for him with new pictures.

Ajay came into the lounge, a little surprised to see me since I never stop by his work...he has really fast paced days with hardly ever a break in between cases. He said, "hi! you have new pictures?" Up until this point, I hadn't told any of the nurses what I knew; I replied, "Yes, I have new pictures...would you like to see your daughter first or your son?" Ajay's eyes got really big and a huge smile spread across his face....all the nurses shrieked because they were hearing the same info at the same time. Ajay asked "really?!!!!" It was a really happy moment for us....so we celebrated the moment by getting me a cheeseburger (and something healthy and unappetizing for him!)

11 week development

Here is what Babycenter.com has to say about 11 week development:

Our babies are just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, and are now almost fully formed. Their hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under their gums, and some of their bones are beginning to harden. They're already busy kicking and stretching, and their tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as their body grows and becomes more developed and functional. I won't feel the babies' acrobatics for another month or two nor will I notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming....which, by the way, we saw happening on the ultrasound yesterday.

Toys

Yesterday, after my ultrasound, I stopped by my neighborhood Room & Board to take a look at cribs. I think I found "the one" but refuse to jinx myself by actually purchasing it. However, I could not resist buying these for the nursery:

Here is another shot...and yes, I posed them in several different ways to capture their cuteness:


Ajay and I have bought several of these cute little guys for friend's babies and our niece, so when I saw the basket of them at Room and Board, I just couldn't resist. And how to choose? I'm not sure, but there were many more where these came from.

After my purchase, I talked to Ajay and let him know that I had made the first purchase for the babies, and he'd get to see the surprise when he got home. When he got home, I had them very cutely arranged in front of the TV (to make sure he'd see them). And that is when the Freudian slip of all Freudian slips happened...I asked him "how cute are my new little friends?" We both realized my mistake in possession, and I immediately added "I mean, how cute are the BABIES' new little friends!".

Because they were for the babies...not for me....seriously....they're not mine...they're for the babies....I didn't sleep with them arranged next to my bed last night. Really! I know they're not mine!