Turning the corner

I realize I don't write much these days. Call it writer's block. Call it having the blahs. Call it shear exhaustion from having two under two! I'm tired. I lack creativity. The quippy thoughts that once filled my head have been replaced with wondering about if I'll get a nap in the next days.

I feel like I've just exited a rough patch with Alia. Little Miss Sassypants has really been testing me and questioning her boundaries...almost to the point of me dreading days to come. Seriously, I never thought that I would be the Mom saying I haven't been enjoying my child, but there are those days.  Some days I wake up knowing that Alia is going to fight me all day every minute, and I'd rather be spending that time cooing with Amelie.

What's been going on that's so bad? Well, first, I'm tired...really tired. Although both girls technically sleep all night long now, we can count on 1 to 4 crying outbursts through the night on any given night that may or may not require our intervention. Yes. That's right...Alia, my best little sleeper began waking up at 12, 3, 5 a.m. crying for Daddy. Amelie, who can sleep from 7 to 6 am no problem sometimes awakes at 3 and can't go back to sleep, so finally at 4 I'll get up and feed her and put her back down.  So that said, regardless of how involved we are with a given wakeup, it's interrupted sleep nonetheless.

That said, I feel like we're turning a corner. After my Mom's visit last week, I felt that there had been a much needed buffer and distraction between Alia and me. And while having my Mom here was like caring for 3 instead of 2 (sorry, but it's true), there were benefits from the visit.

Amelie is 6 months old!

I sit here thinking about Amelie...reflecting on where she is and how far she has come. My heart fills with love thinking about this sweet little human being. Amelie weighs in at 17.15 pounds and is 27.5" long. That's right...another girl in the greater-than-95th percentile!

Okay, seriously, she's the sweetest little thing in my life right now. Of course Alia is sweet too, don't get me wrong...when Alia is sweet, she's sweet. But Amelie? She is sweetness....see?!

So what's new this month...well, for starters, Amelie is engaging a million times more. With everything! I have to feed her in an isolated spot because she gets too distracted to eat if she's not!  She loves to watch the palms sway in our yard. She loves to watch the grasses blow in the yard. She love love loves to watch her sister! 

This month marks a HUGE advance in Amelie's sleep. I finally got around to fully sleep-training her...even for naps. Yep, that's right. I put her down, and she now miraculously goes off to sleep on her own...every time. It is amazing to me how quickly she can learn.

Amelie also continued on solid foods, adding squash and sweet potatoes to her old repertoire of rice cereal. She's doing well...I offer her food twice a day (mid morning and mid afternoon) and she typically is interested in eating once, sometimes twice.

Amelie giggles with the best of them...her laugh is infectious. She enjoys being tickled. In fact, when she's really tired and cranky, a good old game of "tickle baby" does the trick every time.

Amelie began resembling Ajay this month...sure the nose is mine, but the eyes and brows are definitely Ajay. Oh, and did I mention this month she'll travel to Turkey for the first time? Here she is trying on her bathing suit....and can I just say how much I love that little body???? 

Who's afraid of their babies?

As I sit here typing this, I have just completed my first day solo with the girls. My nanny had a death in the family and Ajay is on 24 hours at the hospital. Yes, my baby is 6 months old, and Alia is 21 months old, and today is the first time I fended for myself entirely. Except for the day when my Dad was visiting and Ajay had to work and my Dad was put on "hold the baby" duty while I wrangled Alia. Anyway...today? Whew!!!!

I have to say I've worked up to it.  Many days I'll have the girls solo while Ajay is at the gym, or if my nanny is coming in later and planning to stay later, etc. But today? We made it through the entire day. Okay, even that's not true...my nanny showed up but was utterly useless to me (yeah, I know, realllllly nice, Andrea, right? sooo sensetive....so thoughtful) so she went home at 11. So she actually was here for 3 hours. But you know what? To be honest, she was a warm body but I handled everything....Amelie's sleep training style nap, Amelie's feedings, Alia's breakfast, lunch, bath, and dinner. Amelie's nighttime routine. I did it. And know what? The sky didn't fall. There were a few more tears than normal, but we didn't crumble.

And I realize, I am capable of this. If the girls were slightly older and slightly further apart in age, it would definitely be easier, but know what? I can do it. Now would I want to do this every day? All by myself? In addition to the house/laundry/etc.? Ummm, simply? No. Not if I had a choice. I appreciate the help I have and appreciate that I can spend so much time with both girls as a result of having help. I appreciate that on any given day I can grab a daytime nap to compensate for a sleepless night due to teething or whatever. And I appreciate that it allows me to be a little calmer, a little easier.

That's all. I'm the boss. My babies don't rule by fear any longer. Oh, and Amelie? Day 2 of sleep training completed. She put herself off to sleep like a champ for the third time today without a hitch.

Alia is 21 Months!

That's right...our little jokester has put another month to bed. This month, it's like Alia's sense of humor blossomed before our eyes. She enjoys punchlines...usually "GOKA" which is what she calls yogurt. Here's an example...
Me: Who loves Alia?
Alia: Daddy!?
Me: who else?
Alia: Mommy!
Me: Very good, Alia. Who else?
Alia: Noni! (My Mom) Amma!!! (Ajay's Mom)
Me: Very good...who else!?
Alia: GOKA!!!!!!!?

And Goka is said about 40 octaves higher than the other names for impact. Yep, that's our funny girl. Alia is also making lots of connections in her mind....for example...she knows how to sign "wind"...you put your hands in front of yourself with your palms facing each other and then sway your arms back and forth. Well, Ajay and I have always used "did you make a windy" to mean, well, you know...pass gas, and the other words I hate for the natural occurring event. Only now? When Alia makes a windy? She signs "wind" and smiles her biggest Alia smile. If it didn't smell so bad it would be adorable!

Alia is learning sometimes several words per day. All you have to do is get her to focus and she'll play along as long as her attention span allows.

Alia began going to many more social things this month. She goes to gymnastics on Monday and music class on Friday. On the days in between we go to the library for story time. She especially likes the songs...she looks up at me like she's in heaven as soon as the begin Twinkle Twinkle.

Alia has finally gone down to one nap per day. Moving her from a 10AM nap to an 11AM nap in order to accomodate her class schedule has been relatively easy. Now she sleeps a solid two hours and usually chugs all the way through the rest of the day with no need for her former 4PM quiet time. Although if she's cranky? A little quiet time never hurt anyone!

Alia's favorite things are Daddy, Froggy, Yogurt, Amelie, Mommy, Aunt Carol, books, puzzles, and somersaults. She likes to inject Noni and Amma into her stories....Noni rides skateboards and motorcycles, while Amma finds worms with Alia on her walks. By the way, Noni and Amma are Alia's grandmothers who refuse to be called Grandma.

Alia loves her bath. She will not sit in a filled tub, however. She prefers the spout to constantly produce a nice stream of warm water so she can back her bottom up to. She sticks it out for the perfect water/bottom contact. She loves to fill buckets and cups full of water and dump them on herself and all her toys.

Alia is transforming from a toddler to a little girl. She is more sure-footed. She is more tenacious. She is a confident little girl on the cusp of developing more independence. And until then? There's Daddy!

Sleep training...in earnest...

So Amelie turned 6 months old today. And yesterday? I realized I hadn't really been doing the greatest job of sleep training her for her naps. Sure, at night we have our routine....bath, pjs, bottle, and bed. She puts herself off to sleep without fail every night. But naps? Another story.

See, during the day, I have my nanny do the majority of naps, and she is a user of crutches...the bouncy ball instead of rocking chair, and she also will use a pacifier if Amelie is particularly difficult to put off to sleep. Nap time usually involves tears and feeling of forcing her to sleep. With crutches. And when she finally goes to sleep? It's usually for 30-45 minutes. Yeah, not good. Then the process might even repeat itself if my nanny deems her still tired....she'll bounce her back to sleep for however long it takes. Until this weekend.

With our annual trip to Turkey just a month away, I realized I need to get serious about getting this girl trained. I can't be taking bouncy ball on the trip with me! And the last thing I want is to fight the time zone change in addition to an already difficult nap situation.

So this weekend I dusted off my Ferber book and reviewed. I know that he is highly criticized for being the cry it out guy, but if you really familiarize yourself with his theory, you'll find he is much gentler than Dr. Spock of the 70's that all our parents used. Anyway, yesterday we bit the bullet.

And today? Amelie is 2 for 2 on getting herself off to sleep at naptime. There are complaints. There is squawking. But she's already caught on to the routine after 3 naps yesterday following the same pattern. Sleep sack, put it bed, white noise machine on, and "It's sleepy time, Amelie". That's all. No bouncing. No pacifier. No crutches. Oh, and did I mention that this morning's nap was an hour and a half long with no need for intervention?

Let's see how tomorrow goes!

When did I become this....grown up?

Yesterday it hit me. I've lost my spunk.


When Ajay got home, Alia greeted him looking like this....

Her double layer of t-shirts, jeans, a coordinating bindi on her forehead, and also by then her hair was in 3 pigtails. Oh yeah, and matching bunny slippers. You just can't complete a look without matching bunny slippers!

Amelie, too, was dolled up in her Jumperoo, complete with hot pink bindi....

I, on the other hand, have my frumpy in-between stage hair in desperate need of cut and color, makeup I applied at 6 a.m., and the worst clothes you can imagine...a regular Mom uniform of jeans and God knows what shirt (how can I remember yesterday?). Ajay laughed when he saw Alia and said, "do you know who she looks like?" I waited for the answer. He then said, "you! before babies! ...you know, spunky and cute!"

Well, that got me thinking. I felt equally unspunky when my sister visited last month. She had newish clothes, accessories, a fresh cut, good color, and took the time to do her makeup...even touch ups! So I asked myself...what happened?

I remember when my sister was here, we took Alia to one of the carousels that Alia loves to visit. To my delight, as I was getting Alia strapped in, my sister mounted the horse next to her. I mean, why wouldn't you ride a horse on a carousel? I thought about this...I guess since I'm so busy being the Mom and being responsible for the 1.5 year old on the horse that it's no longer an option to default to whimsy. I default to Mom....tired....doing my best...getting through the days with two babies who are totally reliant on me.

But today? It was me in the cute coordinating double t-shirts...one long sleeve, one short sleeve on top. It's me with short cute pigtails, with the sides being held back with Alia's barrettes. Yes, the make up is old, the hair still shows bright strands of gray, but at least I resemble my former self....or at least I think I do.

what's that sound?

So I'm in the kitchen washing bottles. Ajay is finishing up with story time with Alia in her room. Amelie is down for the night in her temporary crib in the playroom/library. These days, I put her down awake after her final bottle and let her find her sleep on her own.

Only tonight? She threw up a big portion of her last feed. Why? I don't know. But that kind of ruined the wind-down of the night since I had to change her clothes, wipe her down, and then put her to bed all amped up.

So I heard her in there cooing away, talking to her favorite painting and mobiles, and then I heard something different...muffled sounds. Not cries. Not shrieks. Little muffled gasps and complaints. I checked the monitor, and to my surprise, I saw a baby head, but with no face. I was looking at my poor little baby stuck on her tummy, doing all she could to right herself, but to no avail since 1) she was in a sleep sac and 2) this was her first time ever flipping from back to front and she hadn't experienced that before.

So in a nutshell, my little baby's big accomplishment happened at a somewhat inopportune time, but we celebrated her accomplishment nonetheless.

I'm only afraid of it sometimes....

I've been working on converting our former library/guest room to Alia and Amelie's play room. My desk and computer are still going to be in here, as I want to be able to oversee the girls. However....last week? Ajay hit "print" and nearly gave Alia a heart attack, sense we have one of those wireless numbers and it's located in the built in shelving just aside all of her favorite toys.

So now? Every time she sits near the printer? She turns to it and wags her finger and says, "no, no, no!"

Amelie is 5 months old!

Last week, Amelie turned 5 months old. As always, I'm amazed at the speed that the months pass...amazed at the physical growth that seems to happen before my eyes, and amazed to watch her little personality develop day to day.

This month, Amelie began rolling over from front to back. While she, like most babies, is a hater of all things related to tummy time, she now rolls over with great squawks and fuss. Amelie also began solids in earnest this past month. The first few weeks of her fourth month, we started rice cereal from time to time, but now she's eating 2-3 servings of rice per day since her 5 month birthday. Amelie is also now a proud little hip monkey....her little legs have finally given way to allow for comfortable positioning on Mommy's nice soft hip.

This month we've notice more hair growing in, although from across the room, it's hard to tell. Amelie sleeps through the night maybe 1 in 4 nights right now due to some ferocious teething issues. I'm not sure when or where those teeth are coming, but my poor baby has been complaining like there's now tomorrow for a couple of weeks now. I half expect her to pop out a dozen teeth at once given the misery they are causing her.

Amelie is a delicate girl. She is sweet. She is interested in her sister. She loves to be showered with attention, compliments, and kisses. She smiles and laughs and reaches for things...mainly faces and toys and her sister.

Right now I'm struggling with naptimes. As with Alia at the same age, Amelie hasn't really hit her stride with naps. She prefers to catnap 3-4 times per day, with one nap being an hour or 90 minutes on a good day, and the remaining naps varying between 30 and 45 minutes. Amelie normally naps in her swing in our master bathroom because it is the most remote room in the house and well-insulated from Alia's shouts and squeals. Given our poured concrete floors, our house carries noises like no other. And while it may sound like a sad place for a nap, it's quite a lovely room and very peaceful! :) Right now I'm still putting Amelie down asleep for naps...I bounce her on the ball or even feed her to sleep. I know I need to crack down on my sleep training in this regard, but I'm telling you, Amelie's cries are the saddest! And she does put herself to sleep at night every night....until she awakes in pain from teething, that is. In that case I give her 5 minutes, and then intervene with motrin or tyelenol and rock her back to sleep. I also give her a little water to wash down the medicine, and that seems to comfort her.

Amelie is not nearly as round as Alia was at this age. While she in no way is a timid eater, she is not quite so demanding of food as Alia was. As a result, I'm currently feeding her 6.5 ounces every 3 to 3.5 hours during the day and rice cereal at 11 and 4 with no night time feedings. However, if it's a particularly rough teething night, I will offer her 2 ounces of formula mixed with 2 ounces of water, but that is maybe one day per week.

Amelie has slotted into our family just as Maya predicted. She has her own personality, her on likes and dislikes, and has planted herself so deep in my heart that I cannot imagine life without her. She is sweet where Alia is sassy. She is oblivious to Alia's No-No-No finger waving in her face and answers her big sister with a huge toothless circle-smile. She is my little bald sweetie pie.

500

Happy Easter!

Today's blog marks my 500th...what do you call it...journal? blog? rantings? Well, anyway, when I started this blog a few years back, 500 entries might have seemed a little daunting. And now? I'm just glad that I've kept it going to record our lives, and to have proof that I'm trying really hard to be a good Mom when my girls are teenagers and know everything.

So. Alia now says "nope" in a very sassy way. She's 20 months old. I wonder what she'll say when she's actually 2. She also says purple, pocket, door, up....all of which were added to her ever-growing vocabulary this week. And Amelie? Gotta say...she is the sweetest of the sweetie pies. Truly.

Yesterday our friends Barry and Z came over to hang out...they brought their little guy who was born on New Years Eve. We were do honored that they asked us (and we accepted) to be the Godparents of their son. Just writing it down gives me chills up and down my arms and legs because now that I know the love that a parent feels for their child, it is without a doubt the highest compliment you can pay anyone...entrusting the upbringing of your child to them.

So that's all there's time for today...Alia has awakened from her nap so duty calls. I wish I had a sassier, quippier entry for such a special entry, but maybe it's enough to just keep writing.

Happy Easter!