Alia's first Easter

Yesterday we spent Easter with our neighbors Jim and Carol, who are Alia's adopted Aunt and Uncle. They put out a fantastic spread...we just had to show up. Oh, and they invited Ajay's brother and his family so Alia was able to spend her first Easter with her cousins.





The girls dyed eggs, the grown ups had great wine and tons of food and sweets. And me? By the end of the weekend, I had officially gained 5 pounds since the beginning of this pregnancy!

Hey, I remember this!

Today, for the first time in this 9 week pregnancy, I craved Taco Bell. And Ajay, being the supportive and wonderfully nonjudgemental husband was willing to pick it up on his way back from the hospital. I ate a not-so-Mexican Pizza...that wasn't enough. So I followed that up with two, count them, two taco supremes. I could have kept going all too easily, but I had to stop. See, I haven't had fast food since my last pregnancy, at least a year ago. So my stomach quickly intervened and made more debauchery impossible without first throwing up. So I stopped.

Up until today, this pregnancy has been much, much smoother than my last. I've only had mild morning sickness so far (knock wood) versus throwing up all day for the first 4.5 months with my last pregnancy. The cravings for Big Macs and everything on the menu from Taco Bell hadn't shown up until today. I also haven't gained any weight yet....hmmm, maybe there's a connection there? I think I gained 10 pounds the day I found out I was pregnant last time!

I have to wonder what it's all about...the difference. Is it that my last pregnancy was my first pregnancy and I thought "hells bells! I finally get to eat without guilt!" and had no realization that what weight came on would have to come back off. Is it that my first pregnancy was twins for the first 20 weeks, and thus larger, stronger cravings as well as more intense illness? Is it that this time I'm more relaxed about the whole thing and not so consumed with thinking about my pregnancy 24/7? Is it that this is just a different baby and causes my body to react in different ways? Or is it that I never dropped that final 5ish pounds from the first pregnancy so now my body feels it's got plenty of cushion so far?

Who knows. Ajay's answer to questions like these is always "somewhere in the middle" which is why I sometimes call him Mr. Medium. He always finds the truth somewhere in the middle...not high...not low...you know, medium. Sorry, I digress.

So it's 7pm. Alia is down for the night. I had a very decadent late afternoon shower thanks to Ajay's help with Alia. I am ready to crawl into bed and read for a few minutes and turn out the light for the night. Because a nap now wouldn't make sense!

That's right....fire turds

So here in the Lalvani household, there's a new nightly game. Fire turds. You may think that this does not sound like an appropriate game for a family to play together...much less involving a baby.

Allow me to explain. Several weeks back, Alia began the retraining process with us, her parents. She taught us that the nightly routine that she formerly took part in was no longer good enough. See, before, she had dinner (solid food), a bath, then we gave her a bottle and put her in her crib and she went to sleep. But somewhere that changed.

Alia decided that after her bottle, she would like some additional play time. After finishing her bottle, she sat bolt upright on our lap and started patting things and playing. Any move toward the crib and instant hysterics. And then it happened...the sleepy-time poopy. Huh?! When did that start? Well, very recently, apparently. Normally Alia was a morning girl when it came to that business. So after the sleepy-time poopy, Alia let us know that another bottle would be necessary for her to relax and get to sleep....only a small bottle....maybe 2 or 3 ounces.

So, there you have it: the new routine. Solid food, bath, big bottle, cry, slap things/play, poop, little bottle sleep. Right? Wrong. See, Alia let us know last week that the whole process would be much better if we did bath, then playtime in front of the fireplace. She likes to play with her stacking cups and stacking rings while watching the gentle flicker of flames...it's very soothing, and also helps activate her little pooper. So sometime during the fire/playtime, her new evening poop happens. And than we know it's time to move things to her room for the remainder of the routine.

And tonight, we dubbed the new routine Fire Turds. Because anything else just wouldn't have the proper ring to it.

8 week ultrasound

The good news is everything looked great at today's ultrasound. Heartbeat? Check. Baby looks healthy? check. And here's the picture that proves it....


Dr. H told me that this past week was the critical one...seeing the heartbeat today is a huge relief after such a significant drop in my progesterone level last week.



HUH?!!!


I thought we weren't worried last week. I thought we were doing fine. Wait a minute...I'm so confused.

Dr. H told me that after a significant drop off in progesterone, the following week is the critical timeframe within which a miscarriage is likely. And considering my history of miscarriages, she's relieved and couldn't be happier today.


HUH!?!!


I didn't even know I was supposed to be concerned. I'm sure she didn't want to alarm me and cause me a week's worth of stress that could also lead to a greater chance of a miscarriage, but I'm feeling a little left out in the dark over here.


As I'm processing all this, I asked if it was okay that since the progesterone acted like a sleeping pill for me, I have been taking one in the evenning, and one in the middle of the night. She told me they really needed to be spaced out in 12 hour intervals.

Oops.

So, while today's news was definitely good, I can't help but feel a little less than thrilled. I could have lost this baby this week based on my progesterone drop-off? I need to take the progesterone 12 hours apart? I'm kind of feeling like an irresponsible, tired, hungry, cranky and ignorant person over here!

The latest

On Friday I had my 7 week ultrasound and all looked well....the new baby's little heart was fluttering away. Apparently the baby is now the size of a blueberry...how cute!

I got a call later in the day from Dr. H's office. They let me know that I needed to start taking progesterone. It seems my progesterone level had dropped from 35 to 19.5, and Dr. H likes the number to be greater than 20. She also noted that while my progesterone was just barely on the low side, it was a fairly sizable drop off, so it was a good idea to supplement.

When I asked her if I should worry, Dr. H told me this is something she sees all the time in her infertility patients. Huh?! Oh yeah! I AM an infertility patient! See, since I got prego on my own this time, I kind of forgot that I am fertility-challenged!

So I began on the progesterone on Friday night. To my surprise, the stuff made me dizzy and extremely tired....as if I'm not already worn out from Alia-wrangling and from being in my first trimester! On Saturday morning I took my second dose. Let's just say both Mommy and Alia really enjoyed a looooong morning nap that day. When I woke up to sounds of Alia squeaking in the monitor, I jumped up and was shocked to see that I had slept for 2 hours! How long had Alia been awake? OMG! This stuff is hard core! How come I don't remember this from my last pregnancy? Oh yeah!!! My last pregnancy? I didn't have Alia yet! I could nap for 3 hours at a time!

So now I take the stuff after Alia goes to bed, and then again in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee. No, it's not perfectly spread out, but I seriously cannot care for Alia and take the stuff during the day! Hopefully this is good enough!

Aunt Chris's visit

Last week my sister came for a visit...it was her spring break. While we didn't do a whole heck of a lot, we had a lot of fun playing with Little Miss. Alia loves when people come to visit her. It means that there is never a single moment that she has to be by herself! What could be better. And before you get the wrong idea, even when it's just me and Alia, she's never alone....the girl is with me when I shower, when I unload the dishwasher, and even when I pee!

Anyway, it was really nice to have my sister out here. Alia loves playing with Aunt Chris! And the best thing about Aunt Chris? She doesn't mind sacrificing a necklace for Alia's entertainment...in the last photograph you'll see the last time this necklace was in one piece!

Sleeeeeepy!

I am 7 weeks pregnant. I have an 8 month old that is cutting two more teeth as we speak. After many months of sleeping through the night for 12 hours a pop, Alia is waking up again. She cries like she's never cried before. She wails. Is it separation anxiety that I've read about? Are these two teeth that are coming in so much more painful than the other 6 that she already has? What's going on ?

Last night was a toughie. Especially since, as I said, I'm used to Alia sleeping through the night. She woke up at 11PM crying so loudly and sadly. I went in to investigate. I broke all my own rules. I rocked her. I offered her water. I offered her formula. Nothing seemed to calm her down. Ajay suggested she sleep in our bed with me and he would sleep in her room on the spare bed. Good in theory since I've slept with her on tough nights before (but that was several months ago before Alia was such a good roller and kicker). So needless to say, 5 minutes of Alia crashing into me, rolling back and forth, crying, kicking me.....it wasn't working.

So back to her room. Ajay switched back to our bed. I rocked her and rocked her until my arm was numb. Finally she drifted off and I put her back in the crib. And she cried and cried and cried. I repeated the rock/sleep/transfer/cry cycle until 2AM. 

Did I mention I'm 7 weeks pregnant and soooo tired anyway? Without having interrupted sleep? Without having 3 hours less sleep than I normally have?

Is this the perfect storm of teething pain/separation anxiety/random wake-up? What is it? Because with my very tired brain, I just can't figure out what I should do! 

Hang on...wait a minute....Oh yeah! I know exactly what I should be doing. Being thankful. Being thankful for my beautiful daughter that shows her love by how much she needs me. Being thankful for the reason I'm so tired...that I'm pregnant on my own without needing IVF or FET or IUI or some other fertility acronym that requires shots and tubes and probes. Thankful that I have a calm and wonderfully supportive husband. That's what I should be focusing on!

Six Weeks Prego: We have cardiac!

Friday I had my 6th week ultrasound...and as the title says, we have cardiac signs. Of course, this doesn't mean a true heartbeat like Rachel heard on Friends...that amazing moment that happens much later....but we have the squeezing motion that is the muscles that will soon be the heart....just contracting away.

Me so happy!

And why did I just say that? Me so happy? I'm not a person that says that. But what the hell, me is so happy!

The following was written a couple of weeks back before I was comfortable sharing my pregnancy news....

I'm so happy....I had my first ultrasound today and Dr. H. assured me that everything was where it should be, and there was in fact, only one little person growing in there.

At this point, we were able to identify the yolk sac and the amniotic sac. That's all. This takes me back a looooong way...Seeing a tiny dot on the screen instead of a huge baby looking back at me with the hiccups is....well, there's a big difference, that's all.

And wouldn't you know, just when I put away my size-up fat clothes, I'm digging them out again. Not that I need them yet, but me being me, I want to be prepared!

I suppose I'm one of them now

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you may know that I suffered through a lot of time and needle pokes and emotional rollercoasters and operations and tubes and injections etc., etc., etc., to finally be blessed with Alia, my bouncing baby girl.

And all through the process, my fertile friends would remind me that all it takes is a bottle of wine, some soft music...you know...just relaaaaaax. If any of my infertile friends are reading this, I'm sure your nodding in agreement.

Anyway. Last month I was supposed to move forward with my frozen embryo transfer, except my fertility doc was going to be out of town for the day I was likely to ovulate (and since we're doing a natural course in order to avoid unnecessary injections following the transfer). So we postponed to this month.

I marked my calendar. I'm used to longer cycles since having Alia. As the days passed, and the cycle grew extra long, friends started asking when I was going to begin peeing on sticks again. I laughed. Until the day I found myself eating spicy bean dip with organic corn chips for breakfast. Followed by a chicken burrito for ummm, brunch at 10:30.

I peed on the stick.

And it was postive.