Frozen Embryo Transfer...Here We Come!!!

Since Alia was about 8 weeks old, I was ready to start trying to make a sibling for her. We sought out the advice of our fertility doctor, and she wanted me to wait six months from my delivery date to heal properly, and through two natural menstrual cycles. That way we can avoid a few drugs, and more than a few painful progesterone oil injections (2 per day, 1cc each, for 10 weeks...you do the math...that's a lot of pin holes). 

So here we are....Alia is 6 months old, and while in some ways I anxiously awaited the beginning of my next cycle (so we could move forward with our frozen embryo transfer), somewhere in the back of my mind, I kinda thought maybe we'd make the next baby the old fashioned way. But the news of the day is that we didn't this month. 

Feeling a little bit bummed out about that, I have to ask myself a few questions. Was it silly to think all these months of not using any birth control may be different than the two and a half years that we tried the last time, which resulted in my IVF success named Alia. For those of us in any way dialed in to the infertility networks, we've all heard of women who struggle for years with no success, then do IVF, have a baby and poof! like magic, she gets pregnant on her own the next time...of course by accident. So maybe I was silly to believe the voodoo. I mean, seriously, I'm almost 4 years older than when we began trying to conceive. That's not helpful.

So although we're simply navigating through the course we charted, and moving toward a new member of our family, I have to say that I hoped that the poof-magic would have happened for us. But in the end, I feel really fortunate that we have the methods and the means to move forward with the original plan, albeit my secret "backup" plan.  

High Chairs...who knew?

Okay, before Alia was born, I thought I had thought of everything. I thought I wouldn't need a thing for the first few years---I was prepared. But now I find myself realizing that the highchair I had chosen (well, actually a clamp-on seat that hooks directly onto your table) isn't the best for Alia or me. 

The reason I went with this one was that my sister in law had a similar one...it folded flat, was lightweight, and was simple to attach and unattach...hers was by Phil&Ted. I ordered that one...only the bracket that clamps on? It wasn't thick enough to grasp onto the kitchen island. So I returned it and selected the one from Chicco. Which barely, barely fits on, but it will only fit on one side of the island due to how it's constructed. And this one doesn't fold flat to travel with us. And it's difficult to get unattached (not their design flaw...just the way our island is constructed underneath). And finally, the back of the chair has padded tubular metal construction, but the padding is not soft enough (note in the picture I wedged a pillow between her and the back of the chair)...and considering it rests at the base of Alia's skull at her current size, and considering that my girl loves to thrust her entire weight backwards for fun these days, it seems a little dangerous.

So, here I am, on the quest for a minor major purchase. One of my friends has a daughter who is almost outgrowing her highchair...but not quite yet. So forget the hand-me-down option. And this same girlfriend told me if she had it to do again, she'd just buy one of those kid chairs that mounts onto an existing dining room chair. Okay, so maybe I'll look into that. 

So, I looked. I just couldn't seem to find anything like that that seemed like it would provide Alia with the support she currently needs. She's still a little wobbly. And not to mention, our dining table is glass. So inviting Alia to eat at the table would mean that I would have to start buying Windex by the gallon...do I really want that?

So then I started with the Boon chair...the elite version is $400. Yeah, don't think that's going to happen. Okay, then there's the non-stainless version for a mere $229. Okay, not so bad. But then I looked at the Land of Nod, where I've been really lucky before. They have quite a variety of nice looking chairs at a broad range of prices. Only, it began getting overwhelming. And finally I shut it down and stepped away from the computer. 

Geez...highchairs...who knew?

Alia is 6 months old

As always, I feel like the time is just flying. My itty bitty newborn infant is now 6 months old...half a year! At her 6 month pediatrician appointment, we learned that she is officially off the charts on height, weight and head circumference. She is 28.25 inches long and weighed 19 pounds, 14 oz. Furthermore, our doctor noted all sorts of things that Alia was excelling at...she hands her toys from one hand to the other. She sat up on my lap with little to no support for the duration of the appointment. Alia was also very vocal during the appointment...cooing and flirting with the doctor until she tried to look in her ears...then she decided this appointment wasn't that much fun. The doctor also told us that the "stranger anxiety" that I'm starting to witness is just Alia being a little bit ahead of schedule and that she's a smart cookie; she knows that we are her people, which means that other people aren't.

This month solid food went from a sometimes-treat to a daily event. At 6 months, we were allowed to add fruits to her diet...and while bananas were an instant hit, apricots....well....you be the judge!

This month Alia seems to be coming out of her shell more. She is easily bored and wants to see new things all the time. She loved our New Years trip to San Francisco, and enjoys our new morning routine of going to town for her bottle. Alia also is very clear in her communication; if she is unhappy, she lets us know with high-pitched whining. And if she's happy? Well, just make sure she's safe, because anything in range will be smacked about 1,000 times.

Alia is a spunky little girl...she loves to play and giggle and she definitely knows when she's being funny....she gets a twinkle in her eye that is just heartwarming. 

This month, I've relaxed a bit. I really feel like I've found my footing, and for the most part and much better able to take things in stride. I give both Alia and myself credit for this....she's become much more "durable" and I've learned to relax and roll with things. I think I've actually learned that all babies are different and no matter what this book or that article says, we're doing just fine.

So happy half-year birthday, Alia! My constant companion, my little entertainer, and world's biggest fan of winter squash!

You may already know this if you're my friend or relative, and maybe you've also picked up on this if you read my blog regularly...I'm Type-A. I like to be organized. I like to have answers. I like to do it the right way. I don't cut corners. I am not lazy...in fact, I have a hard time sitting still because there's so much I could be getting done. Type-A. That's me.

So when Alia started whining, I wanted answers. There must be answers somewhere, and in an effort to find those answers as to why my little Miss Whinypants has been so whiny, I broke out a book that I tried to finish before Alia was born...Babywise. Why is it her daytime naps are only a half an hour at a time? Is this why she's whiny? Chronic tiredness? And if she's so tired, why won't she sleep more during her naps? Is it because she sleeps 12 hours straight at night? And is it normal that she's still on a 3 hour cycle of eat-play-sleep? I figured maybe all the answers were in the book.

So I cracked it open. I flipped to the back of the book, and found that this book only focuses on baby behavior (and training) up to 10 weeks old. Oops...might've thought to finish the book awhile back...but in all fairness, I was tired!!! Anyway...near the back of the book, I thumbed through, looking for anything that might be helpful....and there it was...mention of a 6 month old. As I backed up to read what I had uncovered, to my dismay, the author mentions how much older babies, 6 months, will eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, and then nurse just before bedtime....HUH???? Dude, Alia eats 5.5 ounces every 2.5-3 hours. She has a mid-morning snack of veggies. She gets a touch of rice cereal in her bottles. But 3 meals??? at 6 months? Where did I go wrong. Then mister smartypants author goes on to say something about a couple of long naps, or perhaps a single long nap mid-day. Again, I'm thinking, does the author know any 6 month olds? Or is mine a total outlier on the bell curve?

Frustrated and feeling very alienated, I set the book down. And here I was so proud that Alia sleeps so well at night...maybe just a little fine tuning would be necessary to get her from 2 morning naps to 1, and ditto for the afternoon schedule. But now I see that everything is completely out of whack....she's not even close to meeting these goals.

I picked up the laptop and googled "6 month old feeding schedule"...about a million things came up. And the first one I clicked? It said that most 6 month olds still didn't quite have it in them to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time, which basically meant that they still required multiple naps throughout the day. It also said that because naps were so frequent, they would be short in duration. The article then went on to say that at 6 months, most babies would be able to sleep the night, with the exception of 1-2 feedings in the night, but anymore than that would be more habit than nutritive requirement. Finally, it listed a typical feeding schedule for a 6 month old. There in black and white I saw 30-32oz of formula or breast milk throughout the day...starting at maybe 6:30AM. From there feeding every 3 hours with a vegetable snack in the mid-morning, and maybe a fruit snack in the evening.

Yep, I was back! Back to feeling great about Alia's sleeping straight through the night. Back to feeling confident about how long Alia was capable of staying up. Back to feeling good about how much she was eating and how often. Amazing what a little Google will getcha!

Just Keepin' it Real

Today I was talking to my sister, and I mentioned that Alia has really been challenging for me the last couple of days. She asked in what way, and I told her about Alia's new nearly-constant whine. See, Alia has found her voice, and apparently, she feels it's best to use it to motivate me to better serve her....through whining.

Chris (my sister) asked if there was something wrong with her. I responded "no". She asked what I do when Alia begins whining. I tell her that I say things like "I know your tired, Alia...I'm tired too. However, rather than whining, maybe you could just keep it to yourself. That's what Mommy does". My sister got a laugh out of this. She asked if it pains me to hear her unhappy. I responded with something to the effect of "well, it does pain me in that it really gets on my nerves to hear whining for hours on end". My sister laughed, and responded that she had no idea life in Alia-land was anything but perfect. She said from the normal Alia reports, we've created a perfect child that brings nothing but 24 hour joy joy joy.

Well. As difficult as it is to say (because Alia is so wonderfully sweet and cute and does such a good job of being a baby), it's challenging! Especially with the new whining thing...I told my sister that one of my big pet peeves in life is whining, so it's funny that my little 6 month old has already honed in on exactly what makes my eyes cross and creates a black hole in my brain just behind my crossed eyes as her motivating behavior of choice. Oh, and don't get me wrong...there's crying too.

So after talking with my sister, I looked over the last blogs...and there I saw sweet photos, sweet videos, and reports of nothing but baby love and sweetness and cuteness. So there it is my friends. No perfection on this end!

Because this just cracks me up!

So yesterday, my friend asked for a photo of Alia's new teeth. And in an attempt to get the photo, I got all sorts of photos...mainly just like this one...the more I tried to pry little Alia's mouth open, the more she stuck her tongue out. As you can see from the twinkle in her eyes, it became quite a little game.

Another cute thing about Alia...because I haven't really focused on that before....

What's the cutest thing in the world? Well, aside from baby harp seals and Japanese cartoon characters...because that wouldn't really make sense in my Mommy blog. Anyway, if someone asked me this question, I would have to say baby goose bumps.

See, it all started with Alia's night time baby massage. I use the California Babies massage oil (in lavender), lube up my hands and rub her little legs and feet while we look into one another's eyes. She coos. Mommy coos right back. It's the best part of my day.

Then one night, I tickled her little feet. She half-laughed-half-cooed. Then I realized this little girl is ticklish! So I tickled her legs. And there before my eyes, I saw a whole slew of goose bumps pop up...up and down her little chubby legs. They were so tiny....adding to the cuteness....but so...prominent!

And that is the cutest moment of the week, my friends....so far.

So Sweet!

Here's Alia in her clamp-on high chair. We were playing peek-a-boo around a big bowl in the center of the island...she was beside herself with a big case of the happys.

My addiction....it ain't pretty

I'm walking down the streets of Laguna...strolling Alia toward the cafe for our 9AM appointment with her bottle and Mommy's cappuccino. When the thought plays somewhere in the back of my mind...."you shoulda brought the book". No I tell the thought. This is Mommy/Baby time. There's no room for my Wally Lamb book in this equation.

So we get to the cafe. And I hear it again. "it couldn't hurt to read a few pages while she's having her bottle". Damn you, little voice.

After we're done with our Mommy/Baby date at the cafe, we stroll around downtown Laguna Beach and there, on the corner, is the book store. The voice in my head says, "the stroller would fit through the door. And I'll bet Alia would love to see what a book store is...and I'll bet they have the Wally Lamb book prominently displayed on the front table...you could just read a few pages...you know, just until Alia cries from boredom".

And that's when I recognized my addiction for what it was. An ugly, dark, out-of-control, it's-running-the-ship addiction. I am powerless...I need to turn myself over to the the Baby Jesus so he can take the wheel! I am addicted to my book. I think about it all the time. I hide my "using" from others...it interferes in my accomplishing small tasks. I haven't lost friends over it....yet. Now that I think about it, I haven't really called anyone back since I started reading it last week. See? I'm on the slippery slope.

Okay...what I need is to take a deep breath....maybe other people are reading the book and are in my same situation? Maybe other people are amazed at this author's genius just as I am. Maybe there are others like me!

Okay, now I feel better. Now I feel..... like I'm wasting time writing this when I could be reading my book. See you later!

Alia's Latest Trick

Last month, right on the "4-month-old-should-roll-over-unassisted" cue, Alia rolled over. I caught the big event on digital film. You remember. Well, after that, Alia decided she didn't like to roll over. In fact, she would cry every time I put her on her belly. 

Until yesterday...when this happened.

Again and again, Alia rolled over to great applause. Ajay and I clapped; we kissed her; he told her "way to go!". And then Alia clapped, too, for the first time. 

Now granted, the palms of her two tiny adorable hands never met...one hand was in fact balled into a fist so it was more like the rock and scissors meeting in a game of rock-paper-scissors. But to see her trying so hard and just how close she was to her goal... the pride on her face was just priceless.