Last week Alia completed an entire week of orientation at the Montessori. A couple of weeks back, she attended Monday through Thursday. During that week she did really well on Day 1 and Day 2. But by Wednesday she realized that she wasn't at home, she wasn't with Mommy, she wasn't in familiar surroundings, and who the hell are all these people, anyway!? So Wednesday the tears came. The entire morning. At 10:30 the teacher called to say I should come to get Alia because she couldn't seem to calm her down. And day 4 I bargained that I would just come with her and stay with her as long as she was comfortable. And I ended up staying the entire day with her. Not good. Oh, and did I mention on Friday she didn't go at all because her uncle was visiting from New York?
Flash forward to this week. This week I tried to stay on message and consistent. School is fun. Miss Cindy is nice and kind and takes good care of Alia. They have fun playhouses at school. I kept the drop-off loving and warm and reassuring but brief. I reassured Alia that Mommy will come right back to get her. And the week went something like this.... Monday, Alia was a trooper about getting ready for school, but as we drove up the whimpering began. I had to force her out of my arms and into Miss Cindy's. Tuesday was much the same, only more tears and more awareness of the situation. Wednesday? Forget about it...the crying began fastening her into her carseat. Thursday and Friday? Well, on those two days the crying began while changing her out of her night time diaper and through breakfast.
But the good news? Once we got passed those tears, she became more and more capable of coping with the situation on her own. Early in the week, the teachers told Alia that it was okay to stop crying and it was okay to be happy there. They next taught her to count to 3 and then stop crying. And later that day? They overheard Alia begin to whimper (which happens at the end of an activity in which she was engaged when the realization that she's not with me at home occurs to her), then cry, and then told herself "1,2, free, stop cwying, Aya. Happy!" (She calls herself Aya as she can't pronounce ah-lee-uh yet.)
Monday through Wednesday, Alia would only play outside with direct adult supervision (one to one) and would not join the others in the classroom. My guess is she is overwhelmed when surrounded by so much. Alia has also shown a fear of other kids from a very young age, so I'm sure that contributes to her lack of desire to join the others in the classroom. Once the headmaster realized Alia's fear, she suggested we try something new on Thursday...rather than showing up at the same time as all the others, let's bring her in an hour later after all the commotion. We'll hand her off to a teacher's aid who can play with her outside until it's time for snack and recess. Well...let me just say I was really relieved to see such a caring and attentive understanding of my daughter and her particular needs. So I was on board! Only what is it they say...something about the best laid plans...? Yeah...on Thursday I showed up when I was supposed to but the aid? She was heading out the door to go home sick. So instead of following through on the promises I had told her all the way to school (don't worry Alia, no classroom today...just playing outside with Mrs. Sam), she was handed directly to Miss Cindy, who was now solo, and kicked and cried as she was torn from my arms and dragged into the classroom with all the other kids. Who had already been there an hour and looked at Alia like a social pariah! Exhale. So a few minutes later I got the call from the headmaster who apologized profusely that our plan didn't go as planned. She understood my frustration and assured me she would monitor Alia and keep me posted over the next hour. And to my surprise, she called with good news that Alia was doing well in the classroom. Not great, but not better than expected. She ended up staying an hour and I picked her up.
And Friday? The same routine in the morning. Crying. Bargaining, or at least her 2-year-old version of it. But when the headmaster called with the mid-morning update? I got the news that Alia had been in the classroom all morning. She played alongside other kids without getting freaked out. Alia helped to pass out the napkins at snack. And that my friends, wrapped up week two of pre-school orientation.
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