The new sheriff, part deux...

So remember my post about there being a new sheriff in town? Well, it was my last post come to think of it. Anyway...my self-discovery as a parent continues this week.


Some days, Alia smacks me in the face. I give her my firmest NO! and she looks at me like I annoy her even more, and she gears up to smack me again.


Some days, Alia runs around like a wild monkey when it's time to leave the house. "Let's get dressed" and "lets put on our shoes" is just an invitation for my naughty girl to challenge me. She runs from me. She hides in her tent, in her closet, runs around the table. We cannot get out the door even when we need to.


On some days, Alia wants everything. The 10,000th bear to add to her collection. The 500th ball to add to her collection. And yet, we indulge. She doesn't often hear "No" when it comes to things she wants.


Alia enjoys bringing paper towels from their storage place in garage. We buy a case at Costco, and bring them up as needed. Only as far as Alia is concerned, we need a new roll every day. Sometimes two. So I open my cabinet beneath the sink and paper towels fall out. I open my cleaning supply cabinet and paper towels fall out. I do not want all these paper towels in my cabinets...but rather than telling Alia, "no, we're not bringing towels up this time", we indulge.


Now to some people, these may not seem like serious issues. After all, Alia is 17 months old and is learning how the world works. And as human beings, we succeed through life by manipulating the environment around us to our liking....and by golly, Alia is an expert at that component of being human! But, as a parent, it's my job to guide her, and I have room to improve in that area.


Okay, see, up until now, I've found myself thinking "what's a few extra rolls of paper towels? it makes her happy. loosen up, Monica". However, this type of thinking is also responsible for putting off teaching her no. And do I really want to teach her "no" when she's 2?


Now, I'm not saying I'm the new nazi in town and it's my way or the highway, but I am hoping to tighten things up a little bit around here. Up until now, I think I've given her too much latitude because  she's only a year old...like "she's just a baby, what do you expect"?

But now I see the error in my ways....I realize now that she totally knows what to expect at naptime, bedtime, dinner time, and even bath time, and behaves accordingly...no crying, dragging her feet...she just knows. 

But during the day? She thinks she's been put on the earth to order me around. On some days, transitioning from one activity to the next is a kicking and hitting/crying nightmare. I think I need to stop asking her "do you want to...." and just lay it out for her as to what the plan is. Today for example..."do you want to go to the library?" Yeah! she says. Then it took me at least 25 minutes to get her dressed through crying and hitting me. Rather than telling her "it's time to get dressed" I was saying "don't you want to go? to the library?" and then she would cry more because she was stuck between wanting to go and wanting to fight getting dressed. 

The whole idea that she gets to choose what we do and when we do it is ridiculous if you think about it...she's one. She's one member of our family and I have other responsibilities...I'm not here to be her full time facilitator of her whims. I think I need to be more in control and cognitive of what we're teaching of her...and if I'm allowing her to run around like a monkey when it's time to get her shoes on, I'm basically telling her it's okay if I stand for it. Anyway, that's where we're at right now...back at the drawing board!